formspring.me

Kevin, you're f-ckn awesome. HAHA get it? f-ckn? Cause that's my...username..yeah k nvm.

HAHA Oh Christine

Ask away

formspring.me

Can you sing or dance? If so, are you good at it?

Well, I sing and dance. Being good at it is all a matter of opinion. I think that I'm an ok singer and a decent dancer.

Why are you so damn annoying?

Because you give me reason to be so. If you see me as annoying then so be it. I am who I am, accept it, or get the fuck out.

Ask away

formspring.me

Why do you always eat everyone's food?

'Cause I'm a fatty

Ask away

formspring.me

Bitch, how do you know everyone? LOL

I really don't know... 0.0 I just make friends with people who want to be my friend :D CAUSE I'M A NG...u-y-e-n haha

Ask away

Time to get L0ST

Tomorrow is the big day! THE LOST WORKSHOP IS TOMORROW! My excitement is so high right now, its ridiculous. Most definitely the highlight of my break. Jon, Jerome, THIS IS GONNA BE INTENSE. And I'm silently giggling at my self for sounding like a fan girl. (Insert Will & Grace Joke Here)

Balls... HEHEHHEEH.

Ok, off the workshop high, though this excitement is nice. Even Jon and Jerome are excited. I can't wait to get LOST tomorrow.

♥ Circus.

Mmk, enough LostKids. I should get to sleep and so I can wake up for tomorrow.

I LOVE YOU CAMILLE ♥

& http://www.formspring.me/kevynguyen

Soo...

I hear a story about a certain closet case I don't like. Their first time was fisting....

Gross. My bad slut. Fool needs to get the fuck out of the closet as soon as possible. And learn that they can't sing. And that they can't dance either. HAH.

formspring.me

Where is the "follow" button on your tumblr? HAHA

on the top 0.0

Ask away

@Aimee

I use both of mine haha.

And because I'm really too lazy to make up a new blog for this.


CLICK HERE

formspring.me

hi kevin! (= -pauline

HII PAULINE

Ask away

formspring.me

Ask away http://formspring.me/kevynguyen

Merry Christmas

My dad saw my grades today. I'm sorry its not the present you wanted.

I know I fucked up, but you don't need to make me feel bad about it. Way to make the Christmas spirit go round. Even after I burned myself preparing your Christmas Dinner

I need more money. I need a job. I need new shoes. I need a car. I need a lot of things. I have to find a place to stay soon...

Sorry for the sad Blog, but I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and that your's go a lot better than mine.

PS.
I'm sorry everyone. I can't get you your presents. I need to start saving my money for when I have to move out. The Lost Workshop will probably be the last time I will spend money for a while. I'm really sorry guys.

Today

I wasted my day doing nothing

Quickly

I want a Burrito. And to be Mind Fucked by Avatar in 3D

That is all

I'm Sorry Dearest BlogSpot

I have left you in the dust for Tumblr.

But fear not, I will update you, when juicier things happen. Or when I just need to vent much more serious issues.

Until then,

TTFN :D

I'm a Creep

I'm a nosy creep. Its official.

On the brightside, I've been having hella fun with my white elephant gift. THANKS SHIRLEY :D

Its 10:21

And I'm not at Van Nghe. I shouldn't even be awake. Well actually yea I should be now, getting ready and getting ready to leave.

WHITE ELEPHANT HEHEHE

As Opposed to my Tumblr

I'm quite happy now :]

HeartBreaks

I don’t know what about them but they intrigue me. Reading them makes me go aww and want to cry with the person and comfort them. Maybe its ‘cause my weak heart has been broken a lot that I want to comfort them. I don’t know. Its something about those tear-jerkin heartbreak stories that just catch my interest.

My heart goes out to you boys and your broken hearts. May they be fixed with good company and time.

250!

This Post will be full of a lot of things.

GLEE PARTY! WITH DGC ♥ Super excited to see everyone again. We gonna eat and get fat and watch Glee all day <3

That kickback will be a good thing to get my mind off of all the shady business that's been going on. But its ok, I'm done. I'm cutting lines. I'm over being your "friend". And I'm moving on to DGC♥ :]

And I did it. fattykevy.tumblr.com

SORRY I LEFT YOU TAMMY AND ANITA! But I'll still be blogging on here too :]

Oh and Happy 19th Ale Tabaranza!

( ) stayed single for the whole year
(x) made out in/on a car
( ) kissed in the snow
(x) celebrated Halloween
( ) kissed in the rain
(x) had your heart broken
(x) broke someone else’s heart
( ) had a stalker
( ) went over the minutes on your cell phone
(x) had a good relationship with someone
(x) someone questioned your sexual orientation
( ) gotten pregnant
( ) had an abortion
(x) have a relationship with someone you’ll never forget
(x) done something you’ve regretted
(x) lost faith in love
(x) kissed under a mistletoe

OTHER
( ) painted a picture
(x) wrote a poem
(x) ran a mile
( ) shopped at Hollister or Abercrombie and Fitch
(x) posted a blog
(x) listened to music you couldn’t stand
(x) went to a sleepover
( ) went camping
(x) threw a surprise party
(x) laughed till you cried
( ) laughed till you peed in your pants
( ) visited a foreign country
(x) cut in a line of waiting people
(x) told someone you were busy when you weren’t
(x) partied to celebrate the new year
(x) cooked a disastrous meal
(x) lost something/someone important to you

In 2009 I…
(x) broke a promise
(x) lied
(x) went behind your parents back
(x) cried over a broken heart
(x) disappointed someone close
(x) hid a secret
(x) pretended to be happy
(x) slept under the stars
( ) kept your new years resolution
(x) forgot your new years resolution
(x) met someone who changed your life
( ) met one of your idols
(x) changed your outlook on life
(x) sat home all day doing nothing
(x) pretended to be sick
( ) left the country
(x) almost died
(x) given up something important to you
(x) lost something expensive
(x) learned something new about yourself
(x) tried something you normally wouldn’t try and liked it
(x) made a change in your life
(x) found out who your true friends were
(x) met great people
(x) stayed up til sunrise
(x) Cried over the silliest thing
(x) was never home on weekends
(x) got into a car accident
(x) had friends who were drifting away from you
( ) had someone close to you die
(x) had a high cell phone bill
(x) spent most of your money on food
( ) had a fist fight
(x) went to the beach with your best friend
(x) saw a celebrity
(x) gotten sick
( ) liked more than 5 people at the same time
(x) became closer with a lot of people

I'm sorry

I'm sorry for making your headache's worse.
I'm sorry I flatten your wallet.
I'm sorry I don't try hard enough.
I'm sorry that I grew up American

I'm sorry I can't meet your standards.
I'm sorry I can't make you proud.
I'm sorry I'm not the way you want me to be.
I'm sorry that I'm not your perfect son.

I'm sorry for a lot of things but there's not much I can do about it. I am who I am. I'm not the best student, but I'm a good dancer, a decent martial artist, an amateur photographer, and a caring person. A lot of which you don't seem to care for. All you care for is that I do well in school so I can support myself in the future, and I will. I will find a way. When I'm determined to do something, I'll do it. I know you want only the best for me, but maybe your way of getting that isn't the best way. I'm not sure whats going to happen. I just want peace at mind.

-

So today, I was put under the impression that you didn't want me here anymore. Not only that, I was put under the impression that you don't think I'll be safe at night. You have to realize, I walk home at night, that the likeliness of anything bad happening to me is zero to none, that I'm almost 18, and that you're giving me the impression that because you didn't get to go out with your friends all the time, I shouldn't either. And I think, wait, didn't you come here so that Justin and I could have a better life? So why are you trying to keep us from that? You have to realize that we are growing up. We're not going to be the same little boys who obeyed every word you said. I can think for myself. I can cook, I can clean, I can drive, I can speak for myself. I turn 18 in a month, and I wish you would give me more trust. At least trust me more than you trust Justin. I don't know anymore. I wish things would just be easier, but then again, an easy life is a boring life.

I like this

“A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Dad.’

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it’ s not only the passion…Dad, she’s pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science finds a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don’t worry Dad. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son John


PS. Dad, none of the above is true.. I’m over at Tommy’s house.

I just wanted to remind you there are worse things in life than the Report Card in my desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it’s safe to come home.

Just Because

elissa's blog made me think.

I am truly blessed by the fact that I met so many amazing people, all with the same passion for dance, for the most part. I was a bit skeptical in the beginning of the quarter that I wouldn't make new friends but boy was I surprised. I didn't expect to get this close to so many people. They make me look forward to going to school. You guys honestly make my days. The inside jokes are hella funny and we'll be making more of them soon. YOU ALREADY KNOW! ♥

Should I?

I'm debating if I should start following people on Tumblr.

I'm getting tired of Blogger. The layout is ugly, and Tumblr just makes my life easier.

I don't know, there's a lot on there that I don't really want people to see but at the same time, the only people who would read those kind of things would be creepers...like you and me haha.

Hmm what to do? See? Now tumblr would let me ask people to answer my question.

One More Final

In an hour.

I have a headache.
I want to cupcake
I want to cupcake with a guy.
Psychology final can go die.
I don't know why
I want to fly
Too much rhyming
With bad timing.

Fail.

PS HELLA RANDOM

I wish I knew what I wanted. And that the sick ones feel better. And that I pass my finals. And that someone would sweep me off of my feet.

Camille Nguyen

I hella love you. We must cook again someday <3

Oh you silly Dancers

You guys make my day. Probably its because I spend everyday with you guys. We talk our shit, we have our fun, we eat our BLACK TACOS, and what not. You guys make me happy :]

Dance

is my new passion. I never realized how much I cared for it until now.

The Dance Demo was amazing. I don't care how tired I was, or how badly I messed up. I looked good and I did my best, and that is all I can say.

IF YOU GUYS WANT TO WATCH. Click Here. I'm wearing Red in all the videos. Black vest in salsa, red hoodie vest and shorts in hip hop 1, red jacket and jeans in hip hop 2. ENJOY :]

Dec 2

Registration Day
Anthropology Paper & Presentation Due Day
Last Math Exam Day
Dance Demo Day
Psychology Paper Due Day
Fuck My Life Day

Jackets Are In!

I just had to celebrate that fact.

You know what, fuck you bitch. You need to get things straight even though you ain't. Hate me for no reason and atleast try to be my friend you fucking attention whore. No one cares if you're home alone running around in your undies. So grow up you fake ass bitch

Didnt need to pull that all nighter but I can't sleep.

I'm crying, reminiscing about the past, wishfully thinking about what I want,

Killed my good day

Yup. I knew it. No hope.

Fuck lack of communication. Makes shit hella more complicated

I am so lost on whats going on right now.

In Math right now. And I feel poopy.

How strange. Today I touched his hand for the first time since new years. If I could italicize, I would. It was so strange because my heart skipped a beat.

I noticed it today. He's adorable when he's happy. But I wonder, why did that happen? I mean, he hates me. With no apparent reason to do so. How can that happen?

I'm so confused on whats going on with my heart and my head :(

Fuck. Why do I fail at life? What the hell am I doing wrong? I'm tired of constantly screwing up. So I quit at this. I forfeit this lovegame. I'm done looking. I'm tired of let downs. It may seem naive but I don't need more heartbreaks.

I love you like cake cause I'm fat but I miss you like I'm on diet.

I feel like shit because I miss you. I keep thinking of all the times we spent together. All the times that make me hella happy. Like that time we went to the Park and we saw Taeko fall in a pond and you wrote 'property of _________' on my hand. Or SPAM night and I carried you on my back. You really have no idea how happy I was to get some alone time with you. Thats all I really want. Time just for you and me. And I miss that. I miss you. :(

I fucking miss you.

I've decided that I'm too naive for love.

Its been a while since I updated this thing. I guess tonigh is a good night to update. It is a teary eyed night after all.

I wish things wouldn't go back to normal, only because normal would mean not meeting you. It would mean I never danced with you, I never spent all those lovely days with you. I never got to know you; your past, your present, your future dreams. It would mean I would shut myself off from trying to find someone to fall on. It would mean I quit.

I mean at least I tried. I didn't quit without a fight, and I don't want to quit altogether, but at the same time, I don't want to try for nothing. I don't want to risk more tears. I don't want to risk more pain. I don't want to risk getting this feeling anymore.

I want to go, like my fortune cookie said, on a faraway pleasnt journey. On an asthetic retreat from Milpitas, CA and all the areas I seem to spend my days. I want to be able to relax with no worries. I want Hakuna fucking Matata.

Someone give me that.

Being let down sucks.

I want to tell you something, but I'm scared that things would get awkward and you wouldn't be my friend anymore. :[

I sound like a little kid

No Go

Again.

At least this time I'm not laying on the ground crying because I think I'm not good enough for anyone. I'll keep my head up high and hope for the best. 'Cause Nice Guys may finish last, but at least they finish. I'd like to think I haven't finished, not yet anyways.

So yes, tears came last night, but they were quickly erased by smiles. I was glad that silence was gone.

決して、愛していますを忘れて

Nice guys finish last, but at least we finish.

Yea... Those anxious butterfies are back

Why do I get the feeling... That feelings arent the same anymore

Always makes me laugh

My life is Fucked

So my parents found out that I'm gay. My life is officially over.

Once I turn 18, I'm going to be homeless. I probably won't go to school. I'll probably be working full time with no car nor insurance. I'm big time fucked.

I need my grandma. I need my auntie. I need peace now more than ever.

Looks like you both we're right. I'm gonna a bum on the streets, but not for the reasons you said I would be.

At least I didn't lie to you

I miss you, more than I should. & I wish you would talk to me :/

I feel like poop. I have a headache. &I miss you.

So you gave me a "not now". Now I feel shaken. I feel like I'm not good enough in a sense. I need some assurance.

Fuck a Duck

PS I wish you would visit me

Thank you. For it all. I'm will to wait.

For the most part

Ambitious and serious
Loves to teach and be taught
Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses
Likes to criticize
Hardworking and productive
Smart, neat and organized
Sensitive and has deep thoughts
Knows how to make others happy
Quiet unless excited or tensed
Rather reserved
Highly attentive
Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds
Romantic but has difficulties expressing love
Loves children
Homely person
Loyal
Needs to improve Social abilities
Easily jealous
Very Stubborn

HALF?!

I have to pay HALF of my insurance?!

Fuck. I'm never gonna be able to drive then

LICENSED

Yumm :]

I Hate It

I hella over drafted and now I lost those privileges. But now my laptop and phone past 11?! What the hell.

I've had my phone in my room for the past 7 years now, why are you going to change it. You don't like the fact that I'm online talking to my friends at night? Its because its the only time I can. We're all busy with our lives to the point where we can only talk at night. Why does it matter what time I go to sleep? You want me to behave like an adult, yet you put all these limits on me. I don't understand why you have to make me sleep at 11. I'm 17 and in college. I'm working hard and doing my best to do well this year. Why are you punishing me. Most adults I know, 23+ don't sleep until 1 or later, and trust me, I know plenty. I really don't think that is necessary. Why are you doing this? I've been up later doing things and I'm not disrupting anyone am I? I'm in my room keeping to myself like I've done in the past. Why should it matter if I go to sleep late? You don't even give time to at least hear out my compromise or my reasoning.

I just don't get it.

Sore

Like a crazy mother fucker.

Long day yesterday. Tet Trung Thu wasn't as fun as it usually is. I didn't get to hang out with my church kids like I normally would. Yesterday was a hot, sweaty, long, tiring, busy day full of PRACTICE. D; Drum I-YAAAAAH. Hahaha Dragon didn't do shit.

Today, practice was long, hot, and sweaty. Hahaha. We learned a new drum. It was interesting and I like it a lot. OffBEAST have been demoted but today we (kinda) redeemed ourselves. OffBEAZ-ys ahah. Santa Rosa, here we come :]

:DDDDD

FUCK

Overspent -__-

Insomnia Revisited, Again

But for a good reason.

I think this one is right. That this pavement I'm chasing is one to keep on going on.

YAY!

I found my glasses I lost and I got a new bento! :]

Faithless

I don't understand how my parents have so little faith in me. I really wish I settled for SFSU now. Not only because of Wong, but so I can also dorm. I would be out of their control. I mean yea, I'd be home every weekend or so, but being free from that control would be great. Their lack of faith depresses me. I have 3 classes and they're like, you can't fuck around, you have to focus on school and only school. Um yea, I have hella other shit that I focus on, you honestly don't think I can't focus on school too? Thanks. I appreciate the lack of support I get from both of you, IN ANYTHING I FUCKING DO.

Seriously, the only time I get ANY support is if I ask for it. My fucking black belt test cuts, you didn't want to go, YOU DIDN'T FUCKING STAY! You we're there for what, 10 min? And then you left 'cause you were bored. The second cuts, you don't even stay. You dropped us off and had us get rides home. Its like you sign me up, or I choose to do something, you don't care. You care if I'm home on time. You care if its something that you can control, but you don't care if I like it. Seriously. I'm tired of it all

&PS
I wish you could cheer me up

You're the king of assholes. You offer to pay for the concert and now you want me to pay you back...hella later. After you bitch at me over something stupid? Yea I'll pay you back, but its probably the last you'll get from me.

FUCK

WHY ARE YOU KILLING MY POST GOOD DAY BUZZ

My mom is a bitch. End of disscussion

Today

Was a good day :]

Spent time with Wong ALL DAY. Good food, pokemon, and awkward moments together haha. Sounds like the best, and it was.

UNTIL FUCKING DOUCHENOZZLE MICHEAL WAS BEING FUCKING IMMATURE AND BLOWING SHIT OUT OF PROPORTION. WHERE THE HELL IS ALL THIS HATE COMING FROM?! FUCKING A!

The Golden Compass

I wish I had one. Would make life so much better. That and a Daemon.

I'm rewatching the movie. I haven't seen it since I was dating you know who back in '07. We'll name them 10. I really like the movie, I like the book a whole lot more. Its a really good series although I didn't get into the books. It makes me wonder about a lot. Like if we had daemons, I'd probably be super happy ahah. My lonely moments are non existent. But that world seems so much more complicated so maybe not.

Man does that last paragraph sound weird. Anyways, City trip tomorrow, gonna hang out with Wong! And then I must wait till the week after to hang out with Wong cause they're busy. I wish Wong could come down for Tet Trung Thu. That would be awesome :]

I fail at life. I won't elaborate. I'm stupid. Fail.


And yea...

200 Post! :D

And Because

This is Post 199 :]

Name: Kevin Nguyen
Date: 9/15/2009
Colorgenics Number: 14203567

You are seeking an affectionate relationship, offering fulfillment and happiness. You are capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Deep down, you are a kind loving person, always helpful and willing to adapt yourself if necessary to realize the bond of affection that you desire. But you need the same consideration and understanding from others and it is this need that will sometimes hold you back... so let go, trust and you may pleasantly surprised at what happens.

You are a fighter and always on the defensive. You always need to be sure that your position is safe and established. When you finally make a decision you will pursue it to the bitter end in spite of all opposition.

You have a high opinion of yourself. It is perhaps because of this self-centredness that you become exasperated when you feel that your needs are misinterpreted by those around you. When this happens - and it does quite often - you feel that there is no-one that can understand the way you feel and it is because of this egocentric self that you are quick to take offense.

Presently, you are experiencing stress because of restriction on your independence. You need and seek respect from other people and it is essential that they appreciate you for yourself and not for what they would like you to be. You have your own beliefs and convictions and you would like to be respected for them. You are anxious to avail yourself of every opportunity that may come your way but nevertheless, come what may, you have the need to control your own destiny without imposed limitations or restrictions.

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.

And as usual, its on the dot. Now goodnight :]

I Hope You Get Better

Wong is sick, so I hope you get better :]

You both are fucking sick. I hope you both become better people.

I need to fix a lot of shit. I hope things get better.

@MyAnh

That is hella cute.


Today was a good day.

Getting lost. Getting full. Fail at a bonfire. Getting to spend time with Wong. All worth it. :]

Fuck you :)

I'm hella happy haha

And to Kill Time

And get my mind off of that jackass. From FB :D

This is the Layer Cake, covering different parts of your life.

11 Layers of Me

-Layer One: On the Outside-
Name: Kevin Nguyen
Birthday: January 20, 1992
School: De Anza College
College Major: Chemical Engineering
Minor: Theology
Current Location: Milpitas, CA
Eye Color: Brown
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Righty or Lefty: Righty
Zodiac Sign: Aquarius :D

-Layer Two: On the Inside-
Your Heritage: Vietnamese Chinese
Your Fears: Falling flat on my face
Weakness: Falling too fast
Goal: Peace with my complications
Change one thing about your life: Actually trying in High School
Relieve Stress: PUNCHING BAG
Hardest thing ever dealt with: Being cheated on
What upsets you: A lot

-Layer Three: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow-
Your thoughts first waking up: 5 more minutes
Your bedtime: Whenever I fall asleep, usually 11-3
Your most missed memory: When things weren't so complitcated

-Layer Four: You’re picking-
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
McDonald's or Burger King: BK Mocha Joe's ftw
Single or Group dates: Both
Adidas or Nike: Nikes
Lipton Tea or Nestea: Arizona
Chocolate or Vanilla: Vanilla
Cappuccino or Coffee: Ca phe sua da!

-Layer Five: Do You?-
Do Drugs: -
Have a crush: Yessir
Think you've been in love: In and Out "/
Want to get married: Maybe
Believe in yourself: Not always
Think you're a health freak: At times. I blame Ms Potts.

-Layer Six: In the Past Month-
Drank alcohol: HAHA
Gone to the mall: Today
Eaten Sushi: Sendai <3
Gone skating: Yeap
Dyed your hair: Nope
Done something exciting: My life is boring

-Layer Seven: Have You Ever?-
Played a stripping game: HAHA
Gotten beaten up: Sparring
Changed who you were to fit in: Kinda but I grew out of it
Hid something from someone: Oh yeah.

-Layer Eight: Getting Old-
Age your hoping to be married: Idk By 30
Age to start having children: See above
Want to travel to: The world

-Layer Nine: Perfect Mate-
Best Eye Color: Don't matter
Best Hair Color: Dont't matter
Short or Long Hair: SHORT! :]

-Layer Ten: What were you doing-
...1 MINUTE AGO: This
1 HOUR AGO: Downtown SJ
1 DAY AGO: Swimming with Tabs and Ughle
1 YEAR AGO: School, ASB, SHIT

-Layer Eleven: Finish the Sentence-
I LOVE: Food :3
I FEEL: Pissed
I HATE: a lot of things
I HIDE: My trust
I MISS: a lot
I NEED: peace.

Random

wave of depression. I need a pick me up now.

We need drivers for Friday. As of right now, we have 1 driver for sure, we have 6 people that need a way there in a 4-5 person car -__- . I kinda want to invite more people but we need to make sure we have enough drivers first. And then food. And finding a spot. AND WOOD AND SHIT D;

I don't really want to talk about it. I don't need to be trippin over the shit. Its just going to make me feel worse.

WONG, CHEER ME UP.

I need a large thai tea, small pearls ASAP.

PS: THANKS JERK. Talking to you just made me feel hella worse
PPS: I'm so lost right now. This is as specific as I will ever get with this blogspot. I don't know what I want, I think I do, but is it the right thing? I need some reasoning as to why I should do this or that or just stop. I'm arguing with my self and its not good. Save me please.

Again

Utmost in your mind is success. You are constantly seeking stimulation and a life full of experience. You are trying to 'grow' and above all you need to develop freely and to shake off the shackles of self-doubt. You are an enthusiastic individual, full of life with the desire to live intensely. You like contact with others and are enthusiastic by nature. You are receptive to anything new, modern or intriguing. Your interests are many and you are likely to expand your fields of activities. You are optimistic about the future and you deserve every success because deep down you are a 'winner'.

You are a fighter and always on the defensive. You always need to be sure that your position is safe and established. When you finally make a decision you will pursue it to the bitter end in spite of all opposition.

You feel very lonely and frustrated at this time but your shyness and modesty precludes you from establishing any deep form of relationship. You feel rather isolated and alone. You are egocentric and you believe that you are always right - well maybe you are - but you have a short fuse and are likely to take offense for the slightest reason.

Presently, you are experiencing stress because of restriction on your independence. You need and seek respect from other people and it is essential that they appreciate you for yourself and not for what they would like you to be. You have your own beliefs and convictions and you would like to be respected for them. You are anxious to avail yourself of every opportunity that may come your way but nevertheless, come what may, you have the need to control your own destiny without imposed limitations or restrictions.

You don't like authority and you rebel against all forms of limitation. You are your own person and you intend to stay that way and to get on in the world simply by your hard work and determination.

You're Dead to me.

Biggest fucking waste of my time, like everyone said.

Thank God for Wong :]

&&
the sound of the ocean is calming. This violet sky is amazing. I know its only been a day but I miss you. I wish you were here with me to see this :)

got me hella sprung

Fuck. I'm sprung haha AGAIN. Oh boy, I hope this one last ''/

Today was a good day

The City is always a good time.

Blondies, BK Mocha Joe, Quickly's (a bad one though), Sweet Potato Fries, &Chili's. Yum :]

Got to hang out with Wong today. I'm really happy that I did. It was so much fun. Though I found out something I didn't particularly like, but its ok. As long as its not around me for me to see/taste, I'm good :D.
Thanks for making my City trip a great one ♥

SO TIRED NOW, BUT SO WORTH IT. No beach tomorrow. No money. I WANNA GO THOUGH D:

School needs to start soon.

+

Paul Vu looks like JunHo from 2PM.

&&Alex's Pinholes look cooler than mine >.>

2 Sucessful Visits :]

Nick say Hi :]

So for the past two days, I've been on campus visits!

Yesterday was my SJSU visit. As Tammy said it, "FOOL, THAT'S STRAIGHT UP HOMIE HOPPIN."
I went from Jade and Lawrence, to Tammy and Nick, to Camille haha. It was nice hanging out with them though :]. So when I got to the library to play catch up with Camille, we had our twiin time, then Jade came, and then Phillip came, then Phillip and Camille left, and then Jade came with Rei. And then Lawrence came :D. It was a good day.
Iguana's with Jaders, the BEASTfriend, and Lawrence, the new friend.
Penguin Froyo TamTams and Nick
Quickly's with Jaders and Rei
Good day!

Today I dropped off food for Anita at Indy and walked around with Pony :] Looked for Victoria but failed to find her cause I forgot to save her number. Fail. Ran into Randy, gross, and Ceci! Yay! I saw Jonathan and I talked to Dinh, she makes me want to be at Indy's ASB haha. Best adult to talk to EVER. So yea. Fun stuff :]

So Wong and I have the cutest goodbyes. I'm excited to see Wong tomorrow :]

YAY PRODUCTIVITY. Beach Saturday! :]

Notes; cannot fall too hard

Too Fast?

Maybe but I'm ok with that. I'm kinda scared of the consequences, cause I fall hard "/

We'll see what happens.

So apparently that homewrecking fucker is in the bay. Best hope I don't fucking see his ass or its going down.

And I'm sore.

I want to dance with you again :]

---

So I fail at being productive. I started a new bracelet for Wong though. Looks like Thao's but its different

So the week looks like this

Weds: SJSU and meet up with HELLA KIDS.
Thurs: Bike to Indy and have lunch with Anita and co.
Fri: City with Tabs and UghLe, maybe sleep over at cousin's apt. HANG OUT WITH WONG!
Sat: If I sleep over at Nhu's, Hang out with Wong again. If not, SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE
Sun: Van Nghe all day errryday. YM? Cause I'll probably look and feel like shit.

Note to self: Must be productive. &Buy vegetarian dumplings for Sunday.

Hi Nick :D

Sand to Pearls

Wong just sang to me ahaha :]

So today I decided to be productive for the rest of the week.

Tuesday
Bike around
Bike to Tina's

Wednesday
Head to SJSU
Meet up with Camille
Meet up with Jaders
Eat Iguana's :]
GLEE
SYTYCD
ANTM :]

Thursday
Bike to Independence
Visit Anita :]

Friday
City with Tabs and Ugly
Visit Wong! :]
Chill around and what not

I;m so excited for friday though :]

mrchunksterx (8:49:30 PM): I LIKE BOYS.
mrchunksterx (8:49:32 PM): KOREAN BOYS.
mrchunksterx (8:49:36 PM): and i like hyoheon.
mrchunksterx (8:49:39 PM): because she looks ugly. <3
iKevy FTW (8:49:40 PM):WTF
iKevy FTW (8:49:41 PM):oh
iKevy FTW (8:49:42 PM): AHAHA
mrchunksterx (8:49:44 PM): LOL
mrchunksterx (8:52:55 PM): i mean, hyoheon is not ugly
mrchunksterx (8:52:58 PM): but she is the ugliest
mrchunksterx (8:53:00 PM): you know what i mean?

:D

q (1:17:30 PM): i coudlnt tell if you were downe or if you were just nice
W (1:17:37 PM): xD
W (1:17:43 PM): how bout
W (1:17:44 PM): both
W (1:17:46 PM): :]
q (1:17:53 PM): hahah =)

:]

I really should stop hanging out with my exes/people I fell for. I start to miss them.

But on the bright side, I met a cutie at Jammy's cotty. And they're really cute. I'll call you Wong, for now. Until I get a better nickname. But you got me hella blushing, and we just met. Hella cute smile, great dancer, and cheesier than cheesy can be, I like it. :]

I'll upload pictures later :]

gnight! I'm hella smiling :D

Party?!

Jami's Cottilion friday, Cousin's the day after. I'm PERFORMING :D

My cousin's are fail. They want to add another song to the performance. Its easy and all but TRANSITIONING?! +Its all Big Bang and out of nowhere, Super Junior >.>
I Vote No :D

I'm excited :]

Hmm

Mmm. I don't know why but thinking about you gives me knots in my stomach. Seeing your picture gets me really flustered. I think all the doubts I had in the back of my mind just see to come true in my head when I think of you. A part of me wishes that you didn't say yes, but at the same time, I think that would hurt even more. I miss you like crazy and I seriously need to get over this and move along. I just don't like the fact that people actually think you two are dating.

I'm really unsure what I'm feeling right now. I really don't know. I'm just, done. I need to move along and say it will be ok, so I can turn it up haha. Twiin Day and KAT Day are most definitly needed. Fiesta? Y Siesta tambien!

I need a hug, a nice long good one at that

Lost Its Shine

My secret tumblr lost its attraction. Maybe I'll go public and make a secret blogspot. As of right now, only like 2 people, other than my self, has actually seen this. I wonder what would happen if I publicized it and have people with-no-life just look at my previous blogs, my naive post, my infatuation, my paranoia, my issues, my problems, my heart on the line.

I wonder what they would think of me, what they would say. I wonder how they would see me, if they would see me any different. If they would treat me differently because I fall hard, that I jump to conclusions, that care too much, that I worry too much, that I am me. I wonder if that would change anything.

I come to the conclusion that you don't need me, well I've known that for a while but now, I'm accepting it. You're a big boy, you can take care of yourself. You know your limits. I hope you don't try to go pass them. If you want to talk, then talk to me. If you want to whine, whine to me, and etc etc. I'll be here for you if you need it.

I also realized that I miss you quite terribly. Its like in the few moments I spent with you recently, I'm put back to about 1 year ago, when we first started. This may seem foolish and I may be in over my head, but that's nothing new. I don't know if this is just a rebound for me, but I do miss you. It makes me happy to make you smile.

I think I'm just a foolish kid with his heart at his head and his head in the clouds but hey, what can I say? I'm a helpless romantic :]

Before I sleep,

I think I just want someone to hold, somone to kiss goodnight, someone to accept my love.

Oh and PS, I love you :)

Tired

I think I'm going to go to sleep early today. School with my brother tomorrow!

So, its been about a week since you've been gone, and I miss you like CRAZY. You sound like you're enjoying yourself. Haha I spelled enjoy correctly twice now, just for you. You know, every text I get, I hope its from you. I hope you're taking care of yourself, and that you come home safe and sound into my arms.

I've been talking to you a lot more, and I realized, I fucked up, bad. I miss you, I miss what we had, I regret fucking up everything. I regret what I did, and I worked my ass off to gain your trust back. I know we aren't likely to happen again, but I wish that could happen. Everyone deserves a second chance (usually), but you decide to give that to me.

And you, you fucking home wrecker, you happy? If you are, you're fucking sick. You need to fucking jock on guys in your own fucking area your own fucking age. Seriously, GET THE FUCK OFF BITCH.

I'm done NIGHT NIGHT :D

Fuck dude. Seriously you tell me you can't stomach liquor but you get wasted anyways?! Wtf. I hella trip out about you but you don't fucking care?! Seriously, I hella care. Why don't you? Seriously, why the fuck am I going to care if you don't?! Why do you do this?! I really can't take this.

Accurate as Usual

---

Name: Kevin Nguyen
Date: 8/20/2009
Colorgenics Number: 56240137

---

You are tired of the various 'ups' and 'downs' of life at this time. If only you could win a lottery - or better still, be the heir to a large inheritance which would allow you to afford a life of absolute luxury. This day dreaming will shortly pass and whether you like it or not, sooner or later you will have to face reality.

You are trying to improve your position and prestige - be it in your life or in your workplace. Things are, at this time, OK - but they could be better. You feel that it is essential that you break down any opposition that could possibly lurk in the shadows. You know that you are quite capable of achieving this set goal because you have to and because it is essential to your self esteem.

Your involvements seldom measure up to your high emotional expectations and your 'needs' to be 'loved' and 'cared for' have in the past often led to extreme disappointment. But a change is in the wind - make a firm decision to start anew. Just 'think' it..and it will happen.

You are feeling trapped by the situation as it stands at this time and what is more, you feel powerless to remedy it. You are stressful, angry and disgruntled. You feel that everything that you try to do to change the situation is thwarted and your hopes and aspirations all seem to be receding into the ever distant future. You have reached the state where you now doubt whether your dreams will ever be achieved and this is not only causing mental stress but heartache. You need to get away from it all - you need to have time to think, to recuperate, to be able to make your own decisions.

You don't like conflict and you endeavour to avoid criticism. You want to do your own thing and to be able to decide what is right for you. You have considerable personable charm - and this is used with considerable effect on those that keep your company.

+

Curled up in a ball, squeezing a pillow, listening to itunes missing everything. LA, Science Camp, Camp Everytown, You, St Joes I+II and family from III, DHNS, everything.

I think I'm gonna bike to target and get my bike lock and then maybe visti Christina or something. Idk, might just go to OLP

*Sigh

3 hours ago, they left for school. Its done, they're gone until Dec 17. Buon.

But I guess this shouldn't affect me. I mean, mis amigos no se gusta. And I guess there were a lot of tears from it, but, should this affect me this much?

I know what my friends would say, "Its ok Kevin, things will get better, you can find someone else. Fiesta! Good Riddance, I didn't like him anyways, etc, etc." But, I don't think that'll help.

I think that I should cancel Saturday, just cause, right now I'm not up for it. I'd rather just chill with people or something. Maybe curl up in a ball and sleep it off. I've been meaning to catch up on my sleep.

I think I've been naive about all of this. That I rushed into it, that I made myself fall faster. I think I need to keep away from relationships. It seems I'm going to be spending at least 3 years at DeAnza to keep up with my major. This is going to be really tough.

"I'll find away to you if it kills me."
"Grant My last request and let me hold you,"
"I want nobody, nobody but you."
"I'm officially missing you."

I don't know if you're worth what I'm did for you.

I'm hella sad now.

Summer Love

So its official I guess, I'm single again. At least I can sleep now. I still miss you and I'll probably miss you more when you move, but then by that time, I'll accept the fact that you're gone.

So this blog it to make up for lack of previous blogging.

So my itunes gives me hope. It plays songs that remind me of my summer.

If It Kills Me - Jason Mraz (from the Casanova Sessions)
A.Mi.Go - Shinee
Wonderwall - Oasis
We Match - Gabe Bondoc
Summer Love - Justin Timberlake
Bye Bye Bye - N*Sync
Just Friends - Musiq Soulchild
Circles - Marques Houston
Look After You - The Fray
Nobody - Wonder Girls
Lets Groove Tonight - Earth Wind & Fire
Missing You - Trey Songz

And it goes on haha. For the most part they make me happy and give me good memories, the ones we made in the short time span. Its funny because you don't like 2 of the groups on there. Well maybe 3 but whatever. Don't hate N*Sync ♥. Hahah. I can wait for you to move, but just wait. Give me 2 years and I'll be down there too :]

So this week has been interesting. All I remember is that yesterday was one of the hardest days I've gone through. The breakup and shady business. Today was a good day at home. The Meteor Shower was amazing. Gave me hope :]

Beach tomorrow. Color Belt Testing, Chris' Not Graduation BBQ, Ann's Birthday Party Saturday. Hopefully, the supposed 1 Month and give him his presents :]

Fingers Crossed

---

From Tina

I think i put too much effort ''/

Scary Accurate

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:

Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

1. You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
2. You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
3. You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.
4. Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?
5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test81.aspx




Me gusta mucho

Note to self: I owe falafel drive in 3.50

I feel so much better now. Thanks for clearing things up for me. I wish you luck in school and that you have a chance to enjoi school haha

My itunes on shuffle makes me laugh. Playing songs that give me hope :)

Dear You

Lies. That's all this was wasn't it. I knew it since Seattle. Ever since you went there, you started to care less and less. I hate the fact that I found out through other people. Seriously, if you care, why? I want to know why.

This started off as angry, but I really can only be mad at myself for not listening to my gut. It pretty spot on. I should be mad at you, but I'm not. I think that I can be too forgiving sometimes. Maybe I just like you that much. Maybe I like getting hurt. I am a complicated person. I fell way too hard and it hit me again. This seems to always happen to me. Maybe one day I'll be able to find that perfect person. However, for now, I think solo is the way to go. I think its best for me to wait for someone to sweep me off my feet and constantly make me smile :]

I hope that if you read this, that you tell me the truth about everything. This could have been something special. Something great, and still can be. There's a good chance that I'll still be waiting, like I always have. Just know that I'll be here for you when you come back with arms wide open, ready to give you a hug saying, "Welcome Home."

When I found out, I was extremely emotionally distraught. I wanted to kick your ass. I wanted to cry. I wanted to die. I wanted to just do about every negative thing possible. I want to know why, no matter how much it hurts. The only problem is, Can I believe you? I really want to make this work out. I really do care and I try my hardest to make you smile in the little simple things I do for you. Tell me the truth, nothing but the truth, and only the truth, and I will forgive and try to forget. The warmth I felt with you was probably the warmest I ever felt with anyone. It was a great feeling and I want to keep it. What OMGPOP was, I think am with you.

If this doesn't work out, take my bracelet as a token of what I thought was real. Its for you and I hope you always wear it. Its taking me weeks and I made it with lots of love, time, and care. Enjoi your time at USC and have fun with who ever. May you have a life full of Great Success, Wonderful Love, and Peaceful Bliss.

I may be in over my head, but that's love for ya.

With Love,

Kevin TuanAnh Nguyen.

I fell hella hard. And now, I can't get back up.

I miss you. The one who seemed to like spending time with me. The one who actually talked to me. The one who held my hand. The one who held me. The one who said they cared.

Wow, that sounded like a bunch of Friends episodes

Wow a lot of mini mobile updates...

I think if/when this ends, I'm not gonna date for a long time. Unless they're able to sweep me off my feet, I'm going to fly it solo after this.

I find myself crying again and I ask myself, 'Is this all worth it?'

Tina and Camille both don't think so. I wish we can clear this all.

I want Peace.

Note to self; never rely on 1111

So I over analyzed and I guess I was wrong, but now its happening again. I feel sick in the stomach. You tell me he's just messin but he's going to extremes.
He's sayin i love you, callin you babe. He thinks you have a date where you two got together and that its legit.

This is pissing me off and making me extremly uncomfortable. I didn't want to over analayze and I tried not to, but, I guess I can't help it. I'm complicated.

I'm trying to think positive. Trying to breathe again, but its not really working. I want to talk to him and set things straight before I do something I might regret.

I need a large thai tea with small pearls asap. I need more human interaction. I need A LOT of quality time with you. I need room to breathe. I need peace.

Please change it all. And fix it too. It would make me fell a hell lot better.

Calm

I've calmed down and I feel better. Thanks Thao ♥

Thai Tea makes me happy :]

And this give's me an Ego haha not really.

he was born on a Monday.
Personality Traits
- Wise and humble.
- Inspiring character.
- Creative bent of mind.
- Fun to be with.
- Loyal lover.
- Good looker and great dresser.
- Confident.
- Center of attention in a crowd.
- Love the finer things of life.
- Caring.

Teehee

If you are Aquarius:
You are an exciting person to fall in love with. Your partner will feel lucky to be in love with you. You have a good sense of humor and your sweetheart will never feel bored with you. You are a very caring person. You like to flirt with the opposite sex. The opposite sex likes you because of your creative and innovative ideas. You are very loyal to your loved one and do not leave their side whatever be the case. At the same time, you are sensitive and emotional. You like to surprise your beloved with something or the other.

Your kissing style:
You are a seductive kisser. Truly enticing.

To attract you, the opposite sex must be:
Imaginative, different, must not be clingy, etc.

You are more compatible with -Aquarius, Gemini, Libra, Leo, Sagittarius
You are less compatible with -Taurus, Virgo, Cancer

This is killing me. My heart is beating so fast it hurts. I'm being really complicated I know, but I don't know what to do.

Every text I get, I want it to be yours, but I know its not. I'm hella sprung bud and you don't even know. I think this should end but at the same time, I don't want it to.

I need time with you! I need to clear things up. These thoughts i have bottled up inside me can't be fixed by anyone but you! I need a surprise to cheer me up. I need your lovin to make me feel better. I need a lot of things right now actually.

I wish I didn't over think everything. That my imagination wouldn't constantly run wild. I wake up from nightmares of that asshole ruining these few weeks of happiness. I enjoYed all our time together and I don't want it to end.

I want to be in your warmth. I want to lose all this pain. I want peace.

Hoping for the best. Expecting the worst. Buon

Got Me Twisted Inside

Mixed emotions. Doubts are everywhere. I don't know what to think.

I need a pick me up.

---

So I did this online Tarot reading and this is what I got

Don't be misled by appearances in your emotional relations today, Kevin, there's quite a few things being left unsaid. The association of the Devil and the High Priestess doesn't exactly encourage honesty and openness in relationships. Maybe you're worried that people are plotting behind your back - which suggests that you need to be vigilant around your loved ones. Be careful though, because with some people, too much trust is just plain naïve. As far as work is concerned, it’s back to the starting block to concentrate on your next project. The magic woven by the Fool and the Devil could bring you a promising idea for winning new clients or getting an inspiring project off the ground. Underneath your apparent calm, you’re brimming with creativity and intelligence. Your enthusiasm will open doors today!

Pretty accurate.

Updating from my phone. I just set it up haha.

Imy

Awake and Waiting

for you...Jerk :[

I took the Colorgenics test and its as accurate as Alex said.

Name: Kevin Nguyen
Date: 8/4/2009
Colorgenics Number: 23405167

---

You work hard, seeking success. You are self-sufficient and in spite of all the trials and tribulations that have beset you in the past you carry on regardless.. You are one to be admired because you pursue your objectives single-mindedly and with initiative. You know that you can 'do it' and what is more, you will - without necessarily being dependent upon the goodwill of others.

You are full of stress at this time. It would seem that you are having more than your fair share of trials and tribulations and you are looking for a way out. You are not quite sure which way to go but the advice is - 'Stop trying so hard'.

You feel very lonely and frustrated at this time but your shyness and modesty precludes you from establishing any deep form of relationship. You feel rather isolated and alone. You are egocentric and you believe that you are always right - well maybe you are - but you have a short fuse and are likely to take offence for the slightest reason.

Presently, you are experiencing stress because of restriction on your independence. You need and seek respect from other people and it is essential that they appreciate you for yourself and not for what they would like you to be. You have your own beliefs and convictions and you would like to be respected for them. You are anxious to avail yourself of every opportunity that may come your way but nevertheless, come what may, you have the need to control your own destiny without imposed limitations or restrictions.

You are trying to build up your own position and you resist all external influences. You insist that you are your own person and you will not tolerate any outside interference. Decisive and proud, you are true managerial material.

Cut a Bitch

Not really.

So babe texted me and told me not to worry about something on DL. And I was like huh? Cause I just woke up. So I go on and I see someone else with babe in a picture. If I wasn’t warned, I’d probably over analyze the situation and be like, “I’m a cut a bitch.” But I won’t. I trust my baby, I just don’t trust the other guy -__-. As long as I know nothing happened, which I’m pretty sure nothing happened :]

---

So yesterday was fun. Babe was on their way to Seattle and I was sad but its ok cause they'll be back today :D.

So back to yesterday! Got my haircut hairCUTE. Its hella short now but whatevvs ahha. Lisa, Bince, Stepha, and I went to get sushi and go bowling. Yummy Sendai ♥. Then we went bowling! Best Score that I can rememeber! 109! I beat Vince hahahha. It was a fun night with friends :]

I miss my baby. I loove yous :D

I Don't Even Know

This isn’t just “stupid shit” as you say, its a way for me to get a lot off my mind. Or a way to record a good or bad day. Its a way for me to keep tabs.

Why does he always do this to me? Everytime I talk to him he seems to always makes me the bad guy. I hate how he always gives me ultimatums. I hate how he always put so much on me. I really can’t take anymore of this. I don’t understand why can’t he ever be as nice to me as he is to my brother. Maybe I’m not destined for greatness. Maybe I’m not all that smart. If I was, I’d probably be able to outsmart being lazy. I know you want the best for me but I don’t know if I can take anymore of this. Mom’s fake “good jobs” don’t help either. Its like I can never make you proud. Not in the ways I know I can do it. I excel in Tae Kwon Do but you don’t really seem to care, though you wanted me to do it against what I originally wanted. I help create a success in fundraisers and other social events but you don’t seem to care. You never seem to really care about what I like to do or what I’m doing it for. It seems all you care for is school. I know school is going to make my future but its not the only thing that really matters. I also understand you want me to have a good future but I don’t really need a glamourous one. What I want is to be happy, and thats really hard to do at home. It seems that everytime you look at me, its seems that you hate me. Is it because I don’t do well in school? Is it because I don’t always listen? Is it because I like to spend my time on other things that probably won’t help give me a stable career and lifestyle? To be honest, I’d rather be living in a small apartment or renting a room, and doing something I enjoy. I know I sound naive but hey, I’m trying to be optomistic. School is important, but its not the only thing. Its going to be my base for everything, but it won’t teach me everything. Everything I do builds me for a better life in some sense. Sure I won’t have a fancy mansion, but I’m fine with an apartment of some sort. I can take care of myself. I’m old enough to be able to. I know how to cook and clean (though I don’t always clean). I know how to get to what I want or need.

I dont know what else to say

I've been _________ lately Blog

Pretty much what it is.

So I've been blogging on my secret tumblr lately. Its my escape from my escape. Its like my diary xP. And I like it.

I've been listening to a lot of old bands lately too. Like Jack's Mannequin, The Fray, Yellowcard, Cartel, Anberlin, Blink 182 and what not. It brings back good memories. Well not Blink 182 exactly, but the other bands do. Blink 182 just makes me smile, like when I'm around babe :]

I've been watching a lot of old shows lately too. Like original Power Rangers, other Power Rangers seasons(but in Japanese x]), Sailor Moon (I know right), and Digimon. I'm living up summer by reminiscing with old shows that I loved.

I've been playing more games too. I got my old love for Carmen Sandiego back hehe. And BACKYARD BASEBALL! With little Pablo, the best player ever. I even started playing Final Fantasy again. Its been a while but I'm getting the hang of it haha :D

&&I've been overanalyzing too much.I worry too much about being hurt again, but I have to trust babe. This crazy thing we call love will just have to work its magic on us. And I hope for the best ♥

Yea, just a general update. The weeks have been pretty dang boring due to lack of cash but whatev's. I just want as much quality time as I can get with babe :]

KAT DAY SOON.
TWIIN DAY SOONER.
Quality time with that jerk, ASAP.

Oh My

This has become quite complicated.


I think I should stop over analyzing.


Guess I can't help it :[


Why couldn't we make last night last forever?

Bruno

was THE WORST MOVIE EVER

Went to go see it with babycakes. Horrible movie, but it was nice to spend time with babe. Hopefully you get the weekend off and we can spend the weekend together :]

Quality time is more than mere proximity. It’s about focusing all your energy on your mate. A husband watching sports while talking to his wife is NOT quality time. Unless all of your attention is focused on your mate, even an intimate dinner for two can come and go without a minute of quality time being shared.

Quality conversation is very important in a healthy relationship. It involves sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. A good mate will not only listen, but offer advice and respond to assure their mate they are truly listening. Many mates don’t expect you to solve their problems. They need a sympathetic listener.

That's what I want for us :]

Yum, Babycakes

♥ :]

So babe didn't have to work today so we chilled at the park by my house. It was very nice. I enjoyed it a lot! Though it was short it, was great. Movie tomorrow?

So today we did forms. It was good, I got super lost. But I'll get it later.

and yeaa.

Lame Post

You Turned Me On

From my off day :]

So today was interesting. I woke up around 1-ish and took a shower. I realize I need a hair cut, but anyways. Got ready for Jade's thing and took off. My mom asked me if I was hungry cause they bought me the same sandwich they normally buy me but I can't stomach that anymore and plus I knew there was gonna be hella food so why eat. So I ate waaay too much. Food Baby that was kicking. Oh man it hurt. Left around 4ish to drop off my camera then went to the mall to find my baby. Babe was working and couldn't see them. Hung out with Katie and JHoe for a while then waited for the gang to go see a movie. Saw HBP again with Edalisemana, Dougie, LisaDuDu, Linhlo, and Bince. It was pretty funny the second time, hella messing around. I missed my favorite scene though cause I hung out with babe. Movie ended and walked home.

---

Today was kinda off though. Like I wake up to my mom questioning why I wasn't hungry and didn't want to eat. My dad gave me a fuck off kinda of attitude. I was kinda alone at the party. My mom kept reminding me of things I already knew. I missed spending time with my baby. I need a job. School is worrying me. I had a lot going on in my mind, I wanted to cry. I talked to baby sister Kathy for a bit and it cheered me up a little. But seeing you and spending time with you and feeling your embrace just made me so much happier. I love all the Aww Moments you give me. You make me smile and I'm glad you do. Thanks for turning me on haha :]


Thats going on my scrttmblr haha

7-16-09

Totally not how I expected it to happen, but I'm a happy camper :]

Thanks for stopping by and bringing me cookies :]

7169 No longer single :D

Hi Chris Kim!

PS
Now I'm hearing things "/
This isn't good

Carmel ♥

was really fun. Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk next time?

So I got home that day at like 3 after HP6. I woke up at like 7 to cook but I got lazy so I ordered Chow Mein instead.

Tina came around 8ish and we chilled. Bince got us and we went to get food. Everyone met up at King Eggroll and we were off from there. It was Bince driving me, Tina, Brook&Resil. Ugly had Minh and Tabios(of course). So on our way there, we of course got lost. Too many confusing directions -_-. We go there eventually, ate, and played on the beach. It was pretty crowded. There are some interesting pictures I'll have up down below later. It was fun. The volleyball, the football, the fail jumprope, the burying of people, fun stuff :]

We got tired and we got out of the freezing water to relax in the warm sand. We rinsed off and went to SANTA CRUZ to chill at the arcade, but we had no money. I got to play one game though :]
We played volleyball after. Minh started pissing me off by being a sexist pig and a hater by calling me "woman" when he's the one who actually cross dresses. He needs to get the fuck out of the closet, Cupcake is getting cramped.

After we dropped everyone who needed to be home off and we went bowling. It was just me, Bince, Tabios, and Ugly :D
I sucked haha. 67 xD Then went home and video chatted with Chris and yea.

I'M SO SORE. IT SUCKS.

Plans?
Unknown.

I think thats all.

PS
I'm scared. I want to ask you out but I'm just so hlgfkajslrgherg about it. Like you broke up with your ex because you're going to college, so I don't know if this is going to happen. I like you a lot but I'm scared. You make me smile though, and I haven't felt like this in a long time :]
PPS
A turquoise aura indicates dynamic quality of being, highly energized personality, capable of projection, influencing other people. People with turquoise strong point in their Aura can do many things simultaneously and are good organizers. They feel bored when forced to concentrate on one thing. People love bosses with turquoise Auras, because such bosses explain their goals and influence their team rather than demand executing their commands. Turquoise thought is a thought about organizing and influencing others

Kinda true?

PPS
Pictures are being bitchy

Oh Man

Yesterday, I was eating one of those small packages of Sweet Tarts, and found four candies inside, instead of the usual three. I felt special.
Today, I ate another pack, but only found two inside. I felt like the candy company was seeking revenge. MLIA.

Made my day :D

---

So HP6 was decent. Chris thought the same. He should be sleeping over now but his Mamma ILF was visited by Tom so oh well. Rain Check the movie and the sleep over.

---

So I want to ask you something, but I'm scared. Idk what would happen. I like you a lot but you're going away for a very long time. I like you a lot, and I hope you feel the same way too. I'm just worried because you "broke up" with your last boyfriend due to college, so I'm totally not sure. Don't get me wrong, I want to do it. I really want to do it, but I'm just scared. I don't want a repeat of my past. I am in like with you. And I hope you feel the same too. ♥

Saranghaeyo. I think at least... Well that's how I feel when I'm with you; No question marks :]

You give me reasons to smile ♥

SNJTIL

Hi there. Thanks for the awkward day today :]

So hung out with Chris today. Really awkward moments. I roamed around Vallco. That place is pathetic. Then hung out with Chris until his class. He's going to see HP6 with me :3 Excited.

So the rest of the weeks plans go as follow

Tuesday: Go to Tina's? HP6 with Chris :D
Wednesday: CARMEL ♥
Thursday: Unplanned; Lets make plans :]
Friday: COUSIN TIME :D
Saturday: Unplanned
Sunday: VanNghe time; Yogurt Runs :]

Honestly

I miss these kind of songs I used to be madly in love with.

So change of plans.

Monday; Unplanned
Tuesday; ^^; Maybe HP6, I might be a bit tired.
Wednesday; CARMEL ♥♥
Thursday; Unplanned
Friday; Cousins ♥

Lets make plans. Probably head over to Tina's House and hang with Alex and Tina, or a twiinday at Camille's. IDK

So the Jamboree was fun. Ran into a lot of people I knew. LIKE MY COUSINS :]

Then we went back to Frere's house, unloaded and what not, as I frantically looked for a ride. Duy was going to take me home but then Chris got off work and picked me up instead. Then off to RFL Campbell. Cupcakin time

---

So Frere and Hai both are on a plane to Vietnam. I pray that they have a safe flight and that they do well on their journey and mission. Saturday was a hard day letting them go. I held back the tears. I'm going to miss them. The ride home was nice though. To finish this off, Good luck and Enjoi. This isn't a good bye, its a see you later :]

PS - A Crystalline Soul

You have come out with the Crystalline answer for your soul. Crystalline beings are very reflective. They take a very long time to grow and change but when they do, you can't change them back... it is 'set in stone' so to speak. A crystalline person has an easier time giving than taking. When they do receive something, a debt is naturally implied in their minds whether or not it is expected. This is because of a deep sensitivity to people and objects. Crystalline folks are extremely absorbent of all kinds of energy. They would be wise to trust their instinct when it comes to people and objects in their lives. If it isn't for you, you know.. neutralize, energize, and release. That is the natural flow for crystalline souls.. you must learn about your natural abilities and use them for healing in your life.

Plans?

Today: Jamboree till who knows when; Maybe RFL Campbell :]
Sunday: Hopefully no practice; Still at RFL if I go; Chill with friends before they work;
Monday; Unplanned
Tuesday; CARMEL; HP6
Wednesday; Rest Up; Make plans for the rest of the week

I find out if I get the job this week. Fingers Crossed :]

HI CHRIS :D

SNJIL

The acronyms these days.

So today was unproductive. I went to play tennis with my brother and I lost to that 60 lbs stick. Fail.

So I'm waiting for my friend to get off work so we can chill a bit before I have to go to sleep for Jamboree, but idk if he can stop by. I need my parents to go to sleep -__-

Jamboree tomorrow. Must be at La San by 8. Photo Opportunities? I think yes. This should be fun. I hope there's no practice on Sunday. I want to get out of the house and go hang out with Chris :]

So Beach Day planning is going well. I can't wait :D Carmel ♥

I'm getting hungry. I think I'm gonna get some Cocoa Puffs and watch TV while I wait :]

HP6 AFTER THE BEACH :D

Boo!

Eww Slytherin

Your result for The Sorting Hat Test ...

Slytherin

You scored 34% Order/Chaos, and 35% Moral/Rational

Chaotic Rationality. You don't think much of rules and restrictions; you look at things from an analytical perspective and probably think morality is relative to some extent. Your strength lies in being able to make your own judgments and form your own strategies uninhibited by others; your weakness lies in the wariness other people may have of you, perceiving you as dangerous.

You join people like Theodore Nott, Severus Snape, and Horace Slughorn.

Hey there :D

Hi, hello, how are you? :D

So I'll blog about VYC later when the videos are up :D

So these past couple of days have been fun haha. Random Banned Condom Commercials and what not, and I think I like you :]

"What OMGPOP was, I am with you." -Kevin Nguyen

Yeah, I thought of that haha, and its true, I am in like with you :]










Eww. Thats really bad quality. The better one is better

Fuck

I got into an accident.

Don't want to go into details.

Waiting for my ride to the beach. I want to tan. I think we should stay a while otherwise its a waste of time.

Mission Peak was amazing.

I have to pack tonight :[

kbye

Wow

I'm feeling a bit relaxed right now.

It amazes me how I can put so much trust on to this page left on the internet; How I can spill my guts in the form of text on this blog. Its a great reliever of whatever is bothering me; It gives me something to do; It gives me a way to look back on how things were.

I don't know whats going on between me and my parents anymore. Its like I can't even talk to them. Its just...awkward. Then again, they never really talked to me for no reason.

I think that's why I turn to my blog so much. Its something I can tell everything to, and have people give me feed back, or at least those who choose to or who I share this with. They can give me the advice one would normally expect from a parent. It still bothers me, the fact that I won't have the bond with my parents that a lot of people have with at least one of their parents. I did try, but it never worked out. I guess it won't happen.

I'm getting pretty nervous for my interview today. I hope it goes well. I really want that job. It may be a second job, but that gives me something to do this summer, maybe the year. And, it gives me money in the bank, something I NEED. My parents have stopped giving me money and I need some to survive. I can't keep eating the same routine food here anymore. I need an escape. My stomach has been getting weaker and I can eat a lot of the same foods anymore. I can barely finish the foods I would eat. This is scaring me. I hope things get better.

Sky High later today. I hope I get that money for it.

I'll probably add more later.
enjoi

Another One Ruined

Good Day gone Bad. Thanks Again.

This is to you, both of you, who live in this place I could call home but really isn't.

Lets start with I miss Grandma, a lot. She would've stayed longer if she could tolerate you. Today, I watched The Proposal. It was a great movie; I enjoyed it a lot. The main character was very attractive, but that isn't the point. The way the grandmother acted reminded me of Ba Noi alot. She wanted every one in the family to be a Family. We may look like one, but we definitely aren't one, at least, I don't feel part of a "Normal Family". I cried during the movie. I know, not macho, not my style, not really a movie to cry for; but for good reason. What happened in the movie made me happy and sad. Happy because I thought of Grandma, but sad because I know that what she wanted will never happen. I do want it to happen, but knowing you, it won't stay long. You both don't trust me. You just went directly to the extreme. You grounded me for telling you that I couldn't make it even though Itried. You yelled at me for not being prepared. Prepared for what? Coming home? Again, I TRIED COMING HOME EARLIER, IT JUST DIDN'T WORK OUT. I had a plan in my head and that isn't how it went down. I'm sorry for planning gone bad, something I couldn't control. Then you yelled at me for taking a camera I don't generally use. You yelled at me because you assumed that I was going to break it because I supposedly broke a bunch of other things myself, LIKE I WANTED TO. You never, not once, took the time to think, "Oh, it was just an accident." Or, "Oh, your friend did it." It was always MY. FUCKING. FAULT. I honestly hate how you make all these assumptions. In the end you make an ass out of you, not me. And every time, you look at me with such disdain, I can't take it. It seems that Justin is treated better in spite of me. I'm sorry that I was a fucked up first shot, but can you honestly blame me? I had no help, what so ever, from anyone older, to get me through. I honestly wish I had the help that I'm giving my brother. I wish that I could have gotten that help so I can leave this place so-called home. You honestly have no idea how hard its been. Nor have you asked. You guys caused so many teats to run down my face, its hard to believe that you love me past the unconditional love you should have for me as my parents. Its really hard to love someone who doesn't love you back. You say you do, but I've never seen it. All the hugs I give you look like they're accepted reluctantly. If it were possible for me to be emancipated from you and still live in the Bay Area, I would've done it a long time ago. You have no idea how much this hurts. I've gone through so much physical pain, so much emotional pain, so much mental pain, why must you always make it worse. I'm back in my bathroom because you would send me in here as a punishment; And now it has become a thinking place for me. It seems that every time I've been in here other than to take care of business, I'm crying. The tears are always here and I don't understand why you continually do this. Do you enjoy seeing me in pain?! You know, as I got older, you stopped comforting me whenever I cried. Ever since Justin was born, I pretty much had to comfort my self. All those time you hit me, you would comfort me for a bit, but then tend to other things. I don't understand any of you at all.

---

Anyways, today was a good day. Date with my twiins ♥. As usual, movie and food. Saw Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and The Proposal. Andrew didn't eat with us even though he should have but he had things to take care of. Got my old job back at Surf City and I'm hoping to get that job at Nautica. Today was good until you ruined mood. I hope you don't do the same tomorrow.

Tomorrow: Interview with Nautica at 330; SkyHigh at 7
Wednesday: Mission Peak with Danny at 6; Beach with the gang after
Thursday: Leave for VYC at 4; Be at Frere's at 12(before 4 if there is school). Be Back Sunday.

I need to the mini vacation. RealTalk

KBye
enjoi

Too Much

Blogging lately.

So today was also uneventful, sadly to say. I guess tomorrow starts my busy week. Dress Rehearsal tomorrow; I hope my headache goes away completely tomorrow. Can't wait though! VYC is so close!

So here is how the weeks should go

Monday
Twiin Day: Movie and Lunch with the Twiins
Chill at Camille's or Vi's house later?
Chill with Jovey&Amanda?

Tuesday
Interview with Nautica @ 330/400
Barcode with Jonbon?
SKY HIGH! with Anita, Thao, Chris, maybe Justin, &Anita's Friend
First CKP Pizza

Wednesday
Mission Peak @ 6AM -___- with Danny!
Maybe Dennys
BEACH! with Michelle Tabs, Ughle, &etc

then...

VYC!
THURSDAY - SUNDAY
VYC @ CSU Long Beach back Sunday Afternoon/Night


I can't wait! Time at a beach with crazy cool people :D

Anyways, I think, what OMGPOP was, I am with you. Hahah, I really don't mind you making fun of me. I think its kinda cute haha, like you xP. All pun intended; Like the lame, dorky, fatty I am. I want to see if this is going to go anywhere hahah. Maybe this will work. :]

Anywho, I can't wait. I'm getting hungry from watching the food channel. Not good. I'm not looking forward to waking up at like 8 -__- I'm making my lunch. Oh well, yay sushi!

KBye
enjoi