Sand to Pearls

Wong just sang to me ahaha :]

So today I decided to be productive for the rest of the week.

Tuesday
Bike around
Bike to Tina's

Wednesday
Head to SJSU
Meet up with Camille
Meet up with Jaders
Eat Iguana's :]
GLEE
SYTYCD
ANTM :]

Thursday
Bike to Independence
Visit Anita :]

Friday
City with Tabs and Ugly
Visit Wong! :]
Chill around and what not

I;m so excited for friday though :]

mrchunksterx (8:49:30 PM): I LIKE BOYS.
mrchunksterx (8:49:32 PM): KOREAN BOYS.
mrchunksterx (8:49:36 PM): and i like hyoheon.
mrchunksterx (8:49:39 PM): because she looks ugly. <3
iKevy FTW (8:49:40 PM):WTF
iKevy FTW (8:49:41 PM):oh
iKevy FTW (8:49:42 PM): AHAHA
mrchunksterx (8:49:44 PM): LOL
mrchunksterx (8:52:55 PM): i mean, hyoheon is not ugly
mrchunksterx (8:52:58 PM): but she is the ugliest
mrchunksterx (8:53:00 PM): you know what i mean?

:D

q (1:17:30 PM): i coudlnt tell if you were downe or if you were just nice
W (1:17:37 PM): xD
W (1:17:43 PM): how bout
W (1:17:44 PM): both
W (1:17:46 PM): :]
q (1:17:53 PM): hahah =)

:]

I really should stop hanging out with my exes/people I fell for. I start to miss them.

But on the bright side, I met a cutie at Jammy's cotty. And they're really cute. I'll call you Wong, for now. Until I get a better nickname. But you got me hella blushing, and we just met. Hella cute smile, great dancer, and cheesier than cheesy can be, I like it. :]

I'll upload pictures later :]

gnight! I'm hella smiling :D

Party?!

Jami's Cottilion friday, Cousin's the day after. I'm PERFORMING :D

My cousin's are fail. They want to add another song to the performance. Its easy and all but TRANSITIONING?! +Its all Big Bang and out of nowhere, Super Junior >.>
I Vote No :D

I'm excited :]

Hmm

Mmm. I don't know why but thinking about you gives me knots in my stomach. Seeing your picture gets me really flustered. I think all the doubts I had in the back of my mind just see to come true in my head when I think of you. A part of me wishes that you didn't say yes, but at the same time, I think that would hurt even more. I miss you like crazy and I seriously need to get over this and move along. I just don't like the fact that people actually think you two are dating.

I'm really unsure what I'm feeling right now. I really don't know. I'm just, done. I need to move along and say it will be ok, so I can turn it up haha. Twiin Day and KAT Day are most definitly needed. Fiesta? Y Siesta tambien!

I need a hug, a nice long good one at that

Lost Its Shine

My secret tumblr lost its attraction. Maybe I'll go public and make a secret blogspot. As of right now, only like 2 people, other than my self, has actually seen this. I wonder what would happen if I publicized it and have people with-no-life just look at my previous blogs, my naive post, my infatuation, my paranoia, my issues, my problems, my heart on the line.

I wonder what they would think of me, what they would say. I wonder how they would see me, if they would see me any different. If they would treat me differently because I fall hard, that I jump to conclusions, that care too much, that I worry too much, that I am me. I wonder if that would change anything.

I come to the conclusion that you don't need me, well I've known that for a while but now, I'm accepting it. You're a big boy, you can take care of yourself. You know your limits. I hope you don't try to go pass them. If you want to talk, then talk to me. If you want to whine, whine to me, and etc etc. I'll be here for you if you need it.

I also realized that I miss you quite terribly. Its like in the few moments I spent with you recently, I'm put back to about 1 year ago, when we first started. This may seem foolish and I may be in over my head, but that's nothing new. I don't know if this is just a rebound for me, but I do miss you. It makes me happy to make you smile.

I think I'm just a foolish kid with his heart at his head and his head in the clouds but hey, what can I say? I'm a helpless romantic :]

Before I sleep,

I think I just want someone to hold, somone to kiss goodnight, someone to accept my love.

Oh and PS, I love you :)

Tired

I think I'm going to go to sleep early today. School with my brother tomorrow!

So, its been about a week since you've been gone, and I miss you like CRAZY. You sound like you're enjoying yourself. Haha I spelled enjoy correctly twice now, just for you. You know, every text I get, I hope its from you. I hope you're taking care of yourself, and that you come home safe and sound into my arms.

I've been talking to you a lot more, and I realized, I fucked up, bad. I miss you, I miss what we had, I regret fucking up everything. I regret what I did, and I worked my ass off to gain your trust back. I know we aren't likely to happen again, but I wish that could happen. Everyone deserves a second chance (usually), but you decide to give that to me.

And you, you fucking home wrecker, you happy? If you are, you're fucking sick. You need to fucking jock on guys in your own fucking area your own fucking age. Seriously, GET THE FUCK OFF BITCH.

I'm done NIGHT NIGHT :D

Fuck dude. Seriously you tell me you can't stomach liquor but you get wasted anyways?! Wtf. I hella trip out about you but you don't fucking care?! Seriously, I hella care. Why don't you? Seriously, why the fuck am I going to care if you don't?! Why do you do this?! I really can't take this.

Accurate as Usual

---

Name: Kevin Nguyen
Date: 8/20/2009
Colorgenics Number: 56240137

---

You are tired of the various 'ups' and 'downs' of life at this time. If only you could win a lottery - or better still, be the heir to a large inheritance which would allow you to afford a life of absolute luxury. This day dreaming will shortly pass and whether you like it or not, sooner or later you will have to face reality.

You are trying to improve your position and prestige - be it in your life or in your workplace. Things are, at this time, OK - but they could be better. You feel that it is essential that you break down any opposition that could possibly lurk in the shadows. You know that you are quite capable of achieving this set goal because you have to and because it is essential to your self esteem.

Your involvements seldom measure up to your high emotional expectations and your 'needs' to be 'loved' and 'cared for' have in the past often led to extreme disappointment. But a change is in the wind - make a firm decision to start anew. Just 'think' it..and it will happen.

You are feeling trapped by the situation as it stands at this time and what is more, you feel powerless to remedy it. You are stressful, angry and disgruntled. You feel that everything that you try to do to change the situation is thwarted and your hopes and aspirations all seem to be receding into the ever distant future. You have reached the state where you now doubt whether your dreams will ever be achieved and this is not only causing mental stress but heartache. You need to get away from it all - you need to have time to think, to recuperate, to be able to make your own decisions.

You don't like conflict and you endeavour to avoid criticism. You want to do your own thing and to be able to decide what is right for you. You have considerable personable charm - and this is used with considerable effect on those that keep your company.

+

Curled up in a ball, squeezing a pillow, listening to itunes missing everything. LA, Science Camp, Camp Everytown, You, St Joes I+II and family from III, DHNS, everything.

I think I'm gonna bike to target and get my bike lock and then maybe visti Christina or something. Idk, might just go to OLP

*Sigh

3 hours ago, they left for school. Its done, they're gone until Dec 17. Buon.

But I guess this shouldn't affect me. I mean, mis amigos no se gusta. And I guess there were a lot of tears from it, but, should this affect me this much?

I know what my friends would say, "Its ok Kevin, things will get better, you can find someone else. Fiesta! Good Riddance, I didn't like him anyways, etc, etc." But, I don't think that'll help.

I think that I should cancel Saturday, just cause, right now I'm not up for it. I'd rather just chill with people or something. Maybe curl up in a ball and sleep it off. I've been meaning to catch up on my sleep.

I think I've been naive about all of this. That I rushed into it, that I made myself fall faster. I think I need to keep away from relationships. It seems I'm going to be spending at least 3 years at DeAnza to keep up with my major. This is going to be really tough.

"I'll find away to you if it kills me."
"Grant My last request and let me hold you,"
"I want nobody, nobody but you."
"I'm officially missing you."

I don't know if you're worth what I'm did for you.

I'm hella sad now.

Summer Love

So its official I guess, I'm single again. At least I can sleep now. I still miss you and I'll probably miss you more when you move, but then by that time, I'll accept the fact that you're gone.

So this blog it to make up for lack of previous blogging.

So my itunes gives me hope. It plays songs that remind me of my summer.

If It Kills Me - Jason Mraz (from the Casanova Sessions)
A.Mi.Go - Shinee
Wonderwall - Oasis
We Match - Gabe Bondoc
Summer Love - Justin Timberlake
Bye Bye Bye - N*Sync
Just Friends - Musiq Soulchild
Circles - Marques Houston
Look After You - The Fray
Nobody - Wonder Girls
Lets Groove Tonight - Earth Wind & Fire
Missing You - Trey Songz

And it goes on haha. For the most part they make me happy and give me good memories, the ones we made in the short time span. Its funny because you don't like 2 of the groups on there. Well maybe 3 but whatever. Don't hate N*Sync ♥. Hahah. I can wait for you to move, but just wait. Give me 2 years and I'll be down there too :]

So this week has been interesting. All I remember is that yesterday was one of the hardest days I've gone through. The breakup and shady business. Today was a good day at home. The Meteor Shower was amazing. Gave me hope :]

Beach tomorrow. Color Belt Testing, Chris' Not Graduation BBQ, Ann's Birthday Party Saturday. Hopefully, the supposed 1 Month and give him his presents :]

Fingers Crossed

---

From Tina

I think i put too much effort ''/

Scary Accurate

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You have many goals and want to achieve as much as you can. The jobs you enjoy are those that let you burn off your considerable excess energy.

How do you view success:

Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

1. You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
2. You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
3. You strictly follow rules, and you expect other people to be the same as well. People can get tired of you easily, as you can make them feel a little guilty about themselves. You always make decisions on your own, and can be dismissive of other people's advice. You like to be the leader in groups, but can forget to be concerned about the people you are with.
4. Your peers think of you as a fun person, but sometimes you can be a little irresponsible. You can be somewhat childish, and can try to ignore the fact that you will one day need to really grow up and be a mature adult! Perhaps you could start reading good books; they might help you look at the world in a different light. You do want to be taken seriously, right?
5. Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test81.aspx




Me gusta mucho

Note to self: I owe falafel drive in 3.50

I feel so much better now. Thanks for clearing things up for me. I wish you luck in school and that you have a chance to enjoi school haha

My itunes on shuffle makes me laugh. Playing songs that give me hope :)

Dear You

Lies. That's all this was wasn't it. I knew it since Seattle. Ever since you went there, you started to care less and less. I hate the fact that I found out through other people. Seriously, if you care, why? I want to know why.

This started off as angry, but I really can only be mad at myself for not listening to my gut. It pretty spot on. I should be mad at you, but I'm not. I think that I can be too forgiving sometimes. Maybe I just like you that much. Maybe I like getting hurt. I am a complicated person. I fell way too hard and it hit me again. This seems to always happen to me. Maybe one day I'll be able to find that perfect person. However, for now, I think solo is the way to go. I think its best for me to wait for someone to sweep me off my feet and constantly make me smile :]

I hope that if you read this, that you tell me the truth about everything. This could have been something special. Something great, and still can be. There's a good chance that I'll still be waiting, like I always have. Just know that I'll be here for you when you come back with arms wide open, ready to give you a hug saying, "Welcome Home."

When I found out, I was extremely emotionally distraught. I wanted to kick your ass. I wanted to cry. I wanted to die. I wanted to just do about every negative thing possible. I want to know why, no matter how much it hurts. The only problem is, Can I believe you? I really want to make this work out. I really do care and I try my hardest to make you smile in the little simple things I do for you. Tell me the truth, nothing but the truth, and only the truth, and I will forgive and try to forget. The warmth I felt with you was probably the warmest I ever felt with anyone. It was a great feeling and I want to keep it. What OMGPOP was, I think am with you.

If this doesn't work out, take my bracelet as a token of what I thought was real. Its for you and I hope you always wear it. Its taking me weeks and I made it with lots of love, time, and care. Enjoi your time at USC and have fun with who ever. May you have a life full of Great Success, Wonderful Love, and Peaceful Bliss.

I may be in over my head, but that's love for ya.

With Love,

Kevin TuanAnh Nguyen.

I fell hella hard. And now, I can't get back up.

I miss you. The one who seemed to like spending time with me. The one who actually talked to me. The one who held my hand. The one who held me. The one who said they cared.

Wow, that sounded like a bunch of Friends episodes

Wow a lot of mini mobile updates...

I think if/when this ends, I'm not gonna date for a long time. Unless they're able to sweep me off my feet, I'm going to fly it solo after this.

I find myself crying again and I ask myself, 'Is this all worth it?'

Tina and Camille both don't think so. I wish we can clear this all.

I want Peace.

Note to self; never rely on 1111

So I over analyzed and I guess I was wrong, but now its happening again. I feel sick in the stomach. You tell me he's just messin but he's going to extremes.
He's sayin i love you, callin you babe. He thinks you have a date where you two got together and that its legit.

This is pissing me off and making me extremly uncomfortable. I didn't want to over analayze and I tried not to, but, I guess I can't help it. I'm complicated.

I'm trying to think positive. Trying to breathe again, but its not really working. I want to talk to him and set things straight before I do something I might regret.

I need a large thai tea with small pearls asap. I need more human interaction. I need A LOT of quality time with you. I need room to breathe. I need peace.

Please change it all. And fix it too. It would make me fell a hell lot better.

Calm

I've calmed down and I feel better. Thanks Thao ♥

Thai Tea makes me happy :]

And this give's me an Ego haha not really.

he was born on a Monday.
Personality Traits
- Wise and humble.
- Inspiring character.
- Creative bent of mind.
- Fun to be with.
- Loyal lover.
- Good looker and great dresser.
- Confident.
- Center of attention in a crowd.
- Love the finer things of life.
- Caring.

Teehee

If you are Aquarius:
You are an exciting person to fall in love with. Your partner will feel lucky to be in love with you. You have a good sense of humor and your sweetheart will never feel bored with you. You are a very caring person. You like to flirt with the opposite sex. The opposite sex likes you because of your creative and innovative ideas. You are very loyal to your loved one and do not leave their side whatever be the case. At the same time, you are sensitive and emotional. You like to surprise your beloved with something or the other.

Your kissing style:
You are a seductive kisser. Truly enticing.

To attract you, the opposite sex must be:
Imaginative, different, must not be clingy, etc.

You are more compatible with -Aquarius, Gemini, Libra, Leo, Sagittarius
You are less compatible with -Taurus, Virgo, Cancer

This is killing me. My heart is beating so fast it hurts. I'm being really complicated I know, but I don't know what to do.

Every text I get, I want it to be yours, but I know its not. I'm hella sprung bud and you don't even know. I think this should end but at the same time, I don't want it to.

I need time with you! I need to clear things up. These thoughts i have bottled up inside me can't be fixed by anyone but you! I need a surprise to cheer me up. I need your lovin to make me feel better. I need a lot of things right now actually.

I wish I didn't over think everything. That my imagination wouldn't constantly run wild. I wake up from nightmares of that asshole ruining these few weeks of happiness. I enjoYed all our time together and I don't want it to end.

I want to be in your warmth. I want to lose all this pain. I want peace.

Hoping for the best. Expecting the worst. Buon

Got Me Twisted Inside

Mixed emotions. Doubts are everywhere. I don't know what to think.

I need a pick me up.

---

So I did this online Tarot reading and this is what I got

Don't be misled by appearances in your emotional relations today, Kevin, there's quite a few things being left unsaid. The association of the Devil and the High Priestess doesn't exactly encourage honesty and openness in relationships. Maybe you're worried that people are plotting behind your back - which suggests that you need to be vigilant around your loved ones. Be careful though, because with some people, too much trust is just plain naïve. As far as work is concerned, it’s back to the starting block to concentrate on your next project. The magic woven by the Fool and the Devil could bring you a promising idea for winning new clients or getting an inspiring project off the ground. Underneath your apparent calm, you’re brimming with creativity and intelligence. Your enthusiasm will open doors today!

Pretty accurate.

Updating from my phone. I just set it up haha.

Imy

Awake and Waiting

for you...Jerk :[

I took the Colorgenics test and its as accurate as Alex said.

Name: Kevin Nguyen
Date: 8/4/2009
Colorgenics Number: 23405167

---

You work hard, seeking success. You are self-sufficient and in spite of all the trials and tribulations that have beset you in the past you carry on regardless.. You are one to be admired because you pursue your objectives single-mindedly and with initiative. You know that you can 'do it' and what is more, you will - without necessarily being dependent upon the goodwill of others.

You are full of stress at this time. It would seem that you are having more than your fair share of trials and tribulations and you are looking for a way out. You are not quite sure which way to go but the advice is - 'Stop trying so hard'.

You feel very lonely and frustrated at this time but your shyness and modesty precludes you from establishing any deep form of relationship. You feel rather isolated and alone. You are egocentric and you believe that you are always right - well maybe you are - but you have a short fuse and are likely to take offence for the slightest reason.

Presently, you are experiencing stress because of restriction on your independence. You need and seek respect from other people and it is essential that they appreciate you for yourself and not for what they would like you to be. You have your own beliefs and convictions and you would like to be respected for them. You are anxious to avail yourself of every opportunity that may come your way but nevertheless, come what may, you have the need to control your own destiny without imposed limitations or restrictions.

You are trying to build up your own position and you resist all external influences. You insist that you are your own person and you will not tolerate any outside interference. Decisive and proud, you are true managerial material.

Cut a Bitch

Not really.

So babe texted me and told me not to worry about something on DL. And I was like huh? Cause I just woke up. So I go on and I see someone else with babe in a picture. If I wasn’t warned, I’d probably over analyze the situation and be like, “I’m a cut a bitch.” But I won’t. I trust my baby, I just don’t trust the other guy -__-. As long as I know nothing happened, which I’m pretty sure nothing happened :]

---

So yesterday was fun. Babe was on their way to Seattle and I was sad but its ok cause they'll be back today :D.

So back to yesterday! Got my haircut hairCUTE. Its hella short now but whatevvs ahha. Lisa, Bince, Stepha, and I went to get sushi and go bowling. Yummy Sendai ♥. Then we went bowling! Best Score that I can rememeber! 109! I beat Vince hahahha. It was a fun night with friends :]

I miss my baby. I loove yous :D