Wow

I'm feeling a bit relaxed right now.

It amazes me how I can put so much trust on to this page left on the internet; How I can spill my guts in the form of text on this blog. Its a great reliever of whatever is bothering me; It gives me something to do; It gives me a way to look back on how things were.

I don't know whats going on between me and my parents anymore. Its like I can't even talk to them. Its just...awkward. Then again, they never really talked to me for no reason.

I think that's why I turn to my blog so much. Its something I can tell everything to, and have people give me feed back, or at least those who choose to or who I share this with. They can give me the advice one would normally expect from a parent. It still bothers me, the fact that I won't have the bond with my parents that a lot of people have with at least one of their parents. I did try, but it never worked out. I guess it won't happen.

I'm getting pretty nervous for my interview today. I hope it goes well. I really want that job. It may be a second job, but that gives me something to do this summer, maybe the year. And, it gives me money in the bank, something I NEED. My parents have stopped giving me money and I need some to survive. I can't keep eating the same routine food here anymore. I need an escape. My stomach has been getting weaker and I can eat a lot of the same foods anymore. I can barely finish the foods I would eat. This is scaring me. I hope things get better.

Sky High later today. I hope I get that money for it.

I'll probably add more later.
enjoi

Another One Ruined

Good Day gone Bad. Thanks Again.

This is to you, both of you, who live in this place I could call home but really isn't.

Lets start with I miss Grandma, a lot. She would've stayed longer if she could tolerate you. Today, I watched The Proposal. It was a great movie; I enjoyed it a lot. The main character was very attractive, but that isn't the point. The way the grandmother acted reminded me of Ba Noi alot. She wanted every one in the family to be a Family. We may look like one, but we definitely aren't one, at least, I don't feel part of a "Normal Family". I cried during the movie. I know, not macho, not my style, not really a movie to cry for; but for good reason. What happened in the movie made me happy and sad. Happy because I thought of Grandma, but sad because I know that what she wanted will never happen. I do want it to happen, but knowing you, it won't stay long. You both don't trust me. You just went directly to the extreme. You grounded me for telling you that I couldn't make it even though Itried. You yelled at me for not being prepared. Prepared for what? Coming home? Again, I TRIED COMING HOME EARLIER, IT JUST DIDN'T WORK OUT. I had a plan in my head and that isn't how it went down. I'm sorry for planning gone bad, something I couldn't control. Then you yelled at me for taking a camera I don't generally use. You yelled at me because you assumed that I was going to break it because I supposedly broke a bunch of other things myself, LIKE I WANTED TO. You never, not once, took the time to think, "Oh, it was just an accident." Or, "Oh, your friend did it." It was always MY. FUCKING. FAULT. I honestly hate how you make all these assumptions. In the end you make an ass out of you, not me. And every time, you look at me with such disdain, I can't take it. It seems that Justin is treated better in spite of me. I'm sorry that I was a fucked up first shot, but can you honestly blame me? I had no help, what so ever, from anyone older, to get me through. I honestly wish I had the help that I'm giving my brother. I wish that I could have gotten that help so I can leave this place so-called home. You honestly have no idea how hard its been. Nor have you asked. You guys caused so many teats to run down my face, its hard to believe that you love me past the unconditional love you should have for me as my parents. Its really hard to love someone who doesn't love you back. You say you do, but I've never seen it. All the hugs I give you look like they're accepted reluctantly. If it were possible for me to be emancipated from you and still live in the Bay Area, I would've done it a long time ago. You have no idea how much this hurts. I've gone through so much physical pain, so much emotional pain, so much mental pain, why must you always make it worse. I'm back in my bathroom because you would send me in here as a punishment; And now it has become a thinking place for me. It seems that every time I've been in here other than to take care of business, I'm crying. The tears are always here and I don't understand why you continually do this. Do you enjoy seeing me in pain?! You know, as I got older, you stopped comforting me whenever I cried. Ever since Justin was born, I pretty much had to comfort my self. All those time you hit me, you would comfort me for a bit, but then tend to other things. I don't understand any of you at all.

---

Anyways, today was a good day. Date with my twiins ♥. As usual, movie and food. Saw Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and The Proposal. Andrew didn't eat with us even though he should have but he had things to take care of. Got my old job back at Surf City and I'm hoping to get that job at Nautica. Today was good until you ruined mood. I hope you don't do the same tomorrow.

Tomorrow: Interview with Nautica at 330; SkyHigh at 7
Wednesday: Mission Peak with Danny at 6; Beach with the gang after
Thursday: Leave for VYC at 4; Be at Frere's at 12(before 4 if there is school). Be Back Sunday.

I need to the mini vacation. RealTalk

KBye
enjoi

Too Much

Blogging lately.

So today was also uneventful, sadly to say. I guess tomorrow starts my busy week. Dress Rehearsal tomorrow; I hope my headache goes away completely tomorrow. Can't wait though! VYC is so close!

So here is how the weeks should go

Monday
Twiin Day: Movie and Lunch with the Twiins
Chill at Camille's or Vi's house later?
Chill with Jovey&Amanda?

Tuesday
Interview with Nautica @ 330/400
Barcode with Jonbon?
SKY HIGH! with Anita, Thao, Chris, maybe Justin, &Anita's Friend
First CKP Pizza

Wednesday
Mission Peak @ 6AM -___- with Danny!
Maybe Dennys
BEACH! with Michelle Tabs, Ughle, &etc

then...

VYC!
THURSDAY - SUNDAY
VYC @ CSU Long Beach back Sunday Afternoon/Night


I can't wait! Time at a beach with crazy cool people :D

Anyways, I think, what OMGPOP was, I am with you. Hahah, I really don't mind you making fun of me. I think its kinda cute haha, like you xP. All pun intended; Like the lame, dorky, fatty I am. I want to see if this is going to go anywhere hahah. Maybe this will work. :]

Anywho, I can't wait. I'm getting hungry from watching the food channel. Not good. I'm not looking forward to waking up at like 8 -__- I'm making my lunch. Oh well, yay sushi!

KBye
enjoi

Headache

All day today and it sucked. I hope it goes away soon "/

So today was completely uneventful. I did absolutely nothing. My head throbbed, it hurts to straighten my knee. This sucks! I'm hungry again, maybe I'll make some sushi. Yea, that's my day. I think what I wanted to restart isn't going to happen. I don't have the guts to stop it though "/

On the other hand, this is pretty true.

The Cusp of Mystery and Imagination – Capricorn Aquarius Cusp January 17-22.

You are vivid and expressive and generate excitement wherever you go. You make your presence felt almost immediately when you walk through a door. You have controversial viewpoints and deliver them dramatically. You take time to help the less fortunate but have little sympathy for those you view as freeloaders or parasites. You have wide mood swings and can get pretty wild. You have a pronounced dark side and can explode in fits of anger. You have an active dream and fantasy life. You love to tell and play jokes. You seek a hard working, dependable mate rather than a beautiful or intelligent one. Your interest in sex however is pronounced and you may stray from your primary relationship. Youthfulness is one of your obvious qualities. Strengths: Exciting – Entertaining – Lighthearted Weaknesses: Chaotic – Difficult – Eruptive .

The good and the bad.

OH PLANS FOR NEXT WEEK
Monday - Twiin Day! Movie&Lunch and maybe meet up with Jovey&Amanda

Tuesday - Interview with Nautica @3:30. Wish me luck!; SkyHigh @ 7
Wednesday - BEACH! Fix the Tans -_-
Th-Sun - VYC @ California State University: Long Beach! YEE COLLEGE SWEATER :]

I can't wait for all this to happen :]

Wow 3 Blogs in one day.
enjoi

What's the point?

Of stocking up on medicine that we don't need and not having medicine we need.

I need aspirin but we don't have any. But we have extreme cold medicine for night. And a lot of cold medicine for day. But, I just have a headache.

Fail. My mom likes to stock up...on everything. We eat the same food for a week. And then she makes the same food again... for next week. It gets sickening...really really fast. She wonders why I never eat at home.

Fail

Insomnia Revisited

Not again "/ I hope not atleast. My headache is clearing so maybe. Texting Chris is helping a bit.

So I'm in a bathroom, in the dark and I don't know why. As a kid, I would be sent here as a punishment. Looks like I grew accustomed to it. What are the odds?
I don't even know. My bathroom is a really good thinking place for me haha. I guess all those punishments made it that way.

I wonder, if you read these past couple of blogs, how you're going to react. Honestly, I think I'm just going to get yelled at and/or kicked out of the house. I think you're going to think I made it all up in spite of you, well, I didn't. Pretty much everything here is how I feel about everything; The way you treat me, the way you talk to me, the way you act around other people, whatever. It just how you make me feel: BAD. Though sometimes its not that case, but those happy moments, they usually aren't from you. You just came down stairs. I really hope that things do get better. The "love" that you claim you have for me, where is it? In these material things? When was the last time you told me that you loved me and actually meant it? I'm not trying to be mean, I'm being honest. You dish out a lot of shit to me, and I have to take it. I'm told you're my mother, I have to respect you. Well, I was taught that respect is a two-way street, but seeing how reckless you are at driving that you cant follow the road rules of respect. You drive on the middle of the road of respect and in reality. You can't be respected if you don't respect as well. I lost all respect to you for acting so immature and stubborn. Swallow your fucking pride and admit that sometimes, YOU ARE WRONG. Wake up and realize, education is so much harder than it was the number of years ago that YOU cant even REMEMBER. Yeah, you went to college with a language barrier and it was tough. Its not like people don't do it now; They go through a tough, competitive high school system, to barely even make it to college. I may be smart but I'm not that smart. You expect so much out of me but you don't even believe in me. You never do. You didn't show up to my black belt graduation. You never went to any of the shows that I wanted you to go to. You left half way after my middle school graduation. Grandma told me that you both were negligent parents. That I was left with whoever can watch me. Hearing that made me break down. Its like, I want to love you, more than unconditionally, but you make it so fucking hard to do. You guys force things upon me, but never support me in what you force upon, especially if I enjoy it. I don't understand the kind of hypocrisy you guys... I'm at a loss for words for this, but you both are very hypocritical and I don't understand why. Maybe one day we all can have a mature conversation when you will listen to me and actually listen for once.

I've had enough of your bullshit.

I love my Grandma

Period.

PS RIPMJ
PPS My parents depress me.

They don't trust me and they want me to wake up at 8. Why waste my day? My parents don't want me to leave my phone and laptop downstairs because "You stay up too late." I'm like, "Its summer, I'm going to be sleeping in, and staying up!" Fucking shit. Other than that, I've had my phone in my room for YEARS. Why should I put it there now? I mean, I've talked on the phone pretty late before and now that its SUMMER, I have to put it away? I try to ask my dad if I can keep it with me but he just snaps at me. I can't stand it anymore! FUCK. I honestly hate being in this position. My mom treats me like I'm 5, my dad treats me like I'm worthless and is always snapping at me after stressing after work and mom. He always gives me ultimatums. Whether its for TKD, or my phone, whatever, he always snaps at me. My grandma told me she feels bad for me, my brother, and my dad. But she feels really bad for me, that I deal with all this, the way they treat me, their expectations, all these extracurriculars, things that I want to do. She can't stand it anymore. She doesn't want to visit anymore once my brother and I leave. I feel really bad for her. Fuck, I'm crying again... I haven't cried like this since the whole Orange incident. I'm getting a headache too. I want to move out, but I'm not finacially stable enough to do that. Speaking, of Orange, they deleted me off of myspace, DL, facebook, and blocked me off of AIM. Asshole. But back to that, I don't know what to do. My parents wonder why I go out so much, I can't stand to stay here bored all day! They say I spend too much time on the computer! WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO DO OTHER THAN TV?! FUCK! Seriously. My parents depress me. Can't wait for VYC. A mini vacation at a school I may want to go to.

On the bright side, I now have mouse ears with my name on it :D

I still cannot stand my parents. I wish my parents would actually show that they love me and make me fell like they do instead of guilting me "/

whatever

Cancel

So many plans today, canceled. Buon

So Six Flags didn't happen today and I was sad. However, I went to get Saiko Sushi today, and I say, that was a great pick me up :] Texted Chris/Chris' Friend Kathy all day today. HELLA funny. Scared the shit out of Lauren driving her car. And had a pretty awesome day.

So Saiko, I must say, is FUCKING AWESOME. If you ever go there (its on Hostetter & Capitol in Sj), you have to try these 3: The Crispy&Crunchy: Its your basic tempura roll with A LOT of tempura pits topped off. Its very saucy, like myself! (Pun made today w/ Lauren :D). The Eel-ness: Like the pun(I think) says, its pretty ill. Its like a Daniel(SenDai) only with eel topped with, of course, tempura bits. Man I love tempura bits. It has eel, avacado, and cream cheese, and its really tasty. And finally, THE TORNADO: This is probably THE BEST ROLL I EVER HAD/SHARED. Its salmon filled with shrimp, crab & avocado and then fried. It. was. amazing. We had a lot more food, but these were my favorites of the day. The $65 we spent here was well worth it. If you want more info, you can always check their super cool website if you click here!

Then, Lauren's mom dropped me off near Tina's house and I walked there. Ate food and took pictures with the KAT kids :]. Tina's room is so pretty! We then went to Cataldi with other SPC-ers and me and Christina were reunited at last! We caught up with each other and went to Yogurt Twist. I've gone there everyday this week -_-; ... yeaaa.

Michelle Tabs wanted to swim today but it ended up being cancelled. So I went home! SYTYCD was good. Oh Kupono hehe.

I'm a bit left sad though. Tomorrow's Twiin Day got postponed. Andrew couldn't leave and I was boun. I miss these kids too much. The wednesday before I leave will be a good one though. Next week seems like it has a lot to look forward too. Hope it stays that way :]

And I'm hungry, so I'm gonna make rice :D

KBye
enjoi

PS To Kristine's Comment: If you think its about that "woodpecker" then yes.
PPS I thought this was interesting:
You were born on 20th of January 1992.

:: Romantic
:: Idealistic and need a reason to be happy.
:: Strong Family bond are important to them.
:: Their decisions are driven by their emotion.
:: Like to help and take care others.
:: Loyal and a good teacher.
:: Love musics.
:: Loyal to those who are serious in relationship.
:: Need to learn what can and can't change.

Famous people that share your personalities : Albert Einstein, Jane Seymour, John Denver, Meryl Streep, Christopher Columbus, Goldie Hawn.

I like how I know who 3 of the 6 are. Einstein, who knew?

Tyrone

Oh Starbucks <3 So I started this like on June17, but I guess I never found the words to blog. Summer Vacation is here and it seems I've been living it up. Going out every night, staying up late, having a lot of fun and meeting new people. It's been fun and I'm ready for it to continue. So the past couple of days I've been out with my friends and its been hella fun. Saturday; Laurens Grad Party with Linsey and Michael & Chi's Birthday Grad Party! It was hella fun! Good food at both parties. &Cranium! Oh man, best team ever! Sunday; I must say wasn't as fun until later at night. Van Nghe Dress Rehearsals were pretty intense and tiring. My feet ached a lot but I still have VYC in my mind. Can't wait! Then I went to Mass at SJB and I saw Binh, Wilson, and Kristine. Interesting stuff. I need to slap a bitch haha. Then Yogurt Twist with Thao and Anita <3 FUCK FROZOS. Yogurt Twist is better x98570194857 :] Then got a good panini. Thao wouldn't let me say my name was Tyrone ahaha. It was a really good panini Monday; I totally forgot what happened the first half of Monday. Oh yea, I slept through it all lol. I texted Chris Morning and I totally almost missed it. It was funny then we planned things out and after him getting lost, we hung out! Yogurt Twist and Barcode and then chill at a park :]
[(KEVIN > CHRIS)x64578967204876]^108915204862586732 :]

So Today is chill with Jon, get contacts, and cash in my check.
Tomorrow, 6FLAGS :]
Thursday, TWIINDAY <33 Can't wait for that. I miss my twiins
Friday, Sky High? Cousins? IDK or IDR
Saturday, PRIDE :]
Sunday, Dress Rehearsal, maybe yogurt
Next Week, VYC! And More time with friends :]

kbye!

PS The title of this blog is a joke with my friends at starbucks ahah :]
PPS HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY :]

123

posts. I've been lagging on this shit.

So, its official. I graduated and now donezos with free education. Now time to pay for school. Thank you to everyone who came, yelled my name, lei'd me, and surprised me at graduation. And congratulations to all 2009 grads, especially Camille Nguyen, Vee Banh, Jessica Banh, Eda Semana, Lauren Sila, Jade Barbadillo, Joseph Nguyen, Julie Nguyen, Julie Vu, Kathy Vu, Ahana Mukherjee (I had to look that up), JUSTIN NGUYEN, NHI PHAM, NHU DUONG, JAMES PHAM, Julia Pham, ERIC NGUYEN, DAVID NGUYEN,Lisa Du, Thao Le, Melysa Ramos, Jennan Pham, "Cupcake", "Noah", Hai David Tran, Dan the man whose last name I forget, and the rest of the Class(es) of 2009!

Hung out with Jovey, Amanda, Anita, and Jon. I realized I have two KAT friends: Me, Tina and Alex, and me, Anita, and Thao. Trippy. But yea, we went to Banana Leaf. HELLA GOOD! Then went back to my house with Joves and Amanda. Then Carnival! The zipper was hella fun. Went on it twice cause we couldn't go alone. Then to Eda's. Was thinking about stopping by to Wilson's and Joe's but wasn't sure is it was that day. But KARAOKE! Then walked Amanda and Jovey to Ocean and Amanda's mom (who likes me) took them home. Then back to Eda's then Vince's. Fun stuff.

Today, Van Nghe rehersals. I'm in chopsticks! Yay! Went throught that then the WYD meeting. Orange is in my group. I hope it doesn't get awkward. I fell asleep ahhaah. And yea. It got really exciting towards the end.

And here's my vlog:


Heart Sushi
Homemade Burger & FriesHoney Walnut Shrimp


I have more pictures but I didn't cook them so I wont post them.

And yeaaaa.

enjoi

Ruined

Thanks. You just ruined a good weekend.

Friday was hella fun. The Dance was great. Quickly's was good. Met new people and chilled with cool kids. That's all I can say for now. I'm too fucking pissed to even write about how fun the dance was.

Today was a busy day. Tournament at Buchser. It never stops to amaze me how big it is for a middle school. I didn't place. I got 5th and was off by one point to tie for 4th. After that went home and ate. My mom told me to clean my room and I went to go do so. I got an IM so I go to reply it and then my mom comes in the room and fucking explodes. And I'm like wtf I went to check something really quick I am cleaning you dip shit. I finish and then we head of too Black Belt Graduation. It was hella fucking hot. Got my belt with my name and everything. Parents weren't there as usual but I don't give a fuck. Potluck after. That was a lot of fun, like always. This is where my parents ruined my weekend. On our way home, I tell my mom we need new tops for our uniforms with our new black belts. My dad is like, "Why? You're only there for 3 more months." I'm like I'm staying though. I want to go for my second. I want to experience the things that other candidates experienced. My test was bullshit. We didn't do anything. There was no sense of family or self-accomplishment. I want to test again to see that. And my little brother wants to quit. So my dad is like, "Are you going to it. Well then if you go you pay for half." Of course being the person I am i accept it. I was so pissed though cause my mom is like. How are you gonna get the money. HELLO BITCH. Must you fucking say that every single fucking time we talk about money. Do you honestly have like no faith in me?! That I'll never get a mother fucking job. Shit. I was so mad. And then I realize I only have to pay because my brother wants to quit. If he didn't quit, I wouldn't have to pay. And what's stupider, my dad signed me up for this when I didn't even want to fucking do it. Now, when I want to do it, I get dropped!? WTF is up with that. How are you supporting me in every way possible?! That is so fucking stupid especially when I have to fucking save up for a bunch of other shit like a car. Money for VYC. School. And my own fucking needs. Uggh. How do I deal with this shit. I have a fucking migraine and I need froyo.

W/e Fuck You

Wtf

Thanks Justin. You suck.

My mom is making me quit Karate just because my brother wants to. I'm like wtf. For once in my life I have something I LIKE TO DO and I happen to be good at it. Why would you make me quit?!

uggh

Cranky

today.

Not enough sleep. I was running on three hours of sleep. I bitched like no tomorrow. The noontime music was baaad. I was so fucking frustrated. I hate noontime committee cause no one really commits. I'm super tired right now. I don't need more work to do. I need to make up my Gov work and I need to pick my English grade up. The tournament is this Saturday and I want to win. I haven't gotten a first in forms in a while. I need to get first now. This is a really vague blog but whatever, I'm exhausted. I kinda want to keep my stole for leadership, just because I worked hella hard for the past two years. My family is here. My baby cousin is so cute. I'll upload a picture when I find my camera. I need to print a lot more pictures tomorrow. Jovey's, Sandy's, and Jess'. Then a bunch of moded ones like Armily's and Tony's hahha. It'll bee cool.

So to something more meaningful. Yesterday was Frere's Mass. Van Nghe performed after the mass. I messed up like crazy. It was cool though. I cried a bit but yeaa. I was so exhausted from that. Erich came and hung out with me. That was nice cause we were gonna hang out but I told him that I would've fell asleep. Which I did for a bit. After that I was just like yea. I worked on today's leadershit CD and I was up late doing it. But like this weekend after the youth "Anti-" rally just made me think. The "rally" was supposed to strengthen our bond with God right? Well, I think it did that without all the rituals. That entire experience just made me turn to God. I'm not sure but I think our faith in God is strongest when we need someone to turn to. When we need someone that wouldn't give you an opinion, but give you some little ray of hope that things will get better. I'm not sure really, but thats what it feels like. I should get to sleep. I don't need to be extremely cranky again. Hamburger helper lunch tomorrow. And I get to see Anita! Maybe we'll go to Quickly's or something. Graduation is less than 11 days away now. I can't wait.

KBye