Dec 2

Registration Day
Anthropology Paper & Presentation Due Day
Last Math Exam Day
Dance Demo Day
Psychology Paper Due Day
Fuck My Life Day

Jackets Are In!

I just had to celebrate that fact.

You know what, fuck you bitch. You need to get things straight even though you ain't. Hate me for no reason and atleast try to be my friend you fucking attention whore. No one cares if you're home alone running around in your undies. So grow up you fake ass bitch

Didnt need to pull that all nighter but I can't sleep.

I'm crying, reminiscing about the past, wishfully thinking about what I want,

Killed my good day

Yup. I knew it. No hope.

Fuck lack of communication. Makes shit hella more complicated

I am so lost on whats going on right now.

In Math right now. And I feel poopy.

How strange. Today I touched his hand for the first time since new years. If I could italicize, I would. It was so strange because my heart skipped a beat.

I noticed it today. He's adorable when he's happy. But I wonder, why did that happen? I mean, he hates me. With no apparent reason to do so. How can that happen?

I'm so confused on whats going on with my heart and my head :(

Fuck. Why do I fail at life? What the hell am I doing wrong? I'm tired of constantly screwing up. So I quit at this. I forfeit this lovegame. I'm done looking. I'm tired of let downs. It may seem naive but I don't need more heartbreaks.

I love you like cake cause I'm fat but I miss you like I'm on diet.

I feel like shit because I miss you. I keep thinking of all the times we spent together. All the times that make me hella happy. Like that time we went to the Park and we saw Taeko fall in a pond and you wrote 'property of _________' on my hand. Or SPAM night and I carried you on my back. You really have no idea how happy I was to get some alone time with you. Thats all I really want. Time just for you and me. And I miss that. I miss you. :(

I fucking miss you.

I've decided that I'm too naive for love.

Its been a while since I updated this thing. I guess tonigh is a good night to update. It is a teary eyed night after all.

I wish things wouldn't go back to normal, only because normal would mean not meeting you. It would mean I never danced with you, I never spent all those lovely days with you. I never got to know you; your past, your present, your future dreams. It would mean I would shut myself off from trying to find someone to fall on. It would mean I quit.

I mean at least I tried. I didn't quit without a fight, and I don't want to quit altogether, but at the same time, I don't want to try for nothing. I don't want to risk more tears. I don't want to risk more pain. I don't want to risk getting this feeling anymore.

I want to go, like my fortune cookie said, on a faraway pleasnt journey. On an asthetic retreat from Milpitas, CA and all the areas I seem to spend my days. I want to be able to relax with no worries. I want Hakuna fucking Matata.

Someone give me that.